['lizbeth]

Linn65,

I remember how hopeless that first Christmas felt. And I feel as negative about the cancer treatment as you do.

I was told that when I asked about a memory seminar that resources couldn't be allocated to cancer patients - they were being used for more important things like soldiers with PTSD. I was thinking - I don't have post traumatic stress disorder, I had traumatic stress disorder TSD because I could be walking around with a ticking time bomb of metastasis in my body. I felt minimalized and invalidated. Even though I had empathy with wounded warriors, a little sympathy would have gone a long way.

Now I understand with Herceptin and the new treatments for Her2 breast cancer that for most of us cancer is not the death sentence it was before.

I am not saying it is a walk in the park, or there is not reason to be concerned about recurrence. I am saying that in the that heartbreaking condition you are currently in - that you might be suffering unnecessarily. You might be one of the majority that after finishing treatment will continue to live a long and healthy life with no evidence of the disease of cancer.

I really insist that you seek help with the emotional difficulty of cancer treatment. Gain control by getting help. Gain control by asking your oncologist about the schedule for PET scans, Muga scans, blood tests. Make a list about what upsets you. Take it to your doctor and discuss it. That is the doctor's job - you are paying them to take care of you.

I know you are hurting and I'm sending you a big hug from San Diego.