[jacqueline1102]

Hello Amanda,

I empathize with your post. As far as your question about living well, I have tried to continue my routine as much as possible. I work fulltime, love my husband, and spend time every week/weekend with family and friends. I tend to ruminate so spending alot of time being idle is not healthy for me. I do take supplements now; COQ10, Glucosamine, 2000 mg of Vitamin D daily, and have eliminated diet coke from the diet. I still love the ole' Starbucks which I treat myself to on the weekends. Mindfulness is a form of meditation and therapy methods which is useful. You might read up on mindfulness. I continue to exercise weekly although being consistent is a challenge. We had our house painted recently which is something we have wanted to do for some time. Fall is here and decorating for the season is always great fun. My 50th bday is coming up so we are having a blow out party. We also plan trips. Seattle was this summer. St. John in January. I try not to think about whether or not I am not going to be here to celebrate the special events in my life. I just schedule the trip and go. Much easier said than done. I have an awesome support network which I know many women don't have. I am blessed that I have a profession I love, a husband who adores me, and friends who unconditionally love me. I will continue to work and contribute as long as I can. It helps right now that I am also responding to treatment which provides some hope. I try to gauge myself by how my body feels. The emotional despair can take over but if the body is feeling good I push myself. I try to live in the land of now while still planning for fun in the short term future. All that being said, I don't have children which makes for a far different situation in my opinion. You are a mom with young children. I hope this helps.