[rhondalea]

I had to step away for a bit. I haven't been that angry in longer than I can remember. I also discovered that my trigger for smoking is anger--I smoked an entire pack of cigarettes on Wednesday--which explains why I've cut down so much in the last few years.

I appreciate everyone's comments and the support. But for that, it probably would have been more than a one pack lapse.

This incident is part of a larger picture, and it just focused the irritation I've felt with some of my treatment team over the past year. I haven't decided what to do about that quite yet, but my gut says to finish the Herceptin infusions where I am and then switch treatment centers for any follow-up care. Maybe, maybe not.

I have done a lot of thinking about this particular incident, though, apart from every other irritation I've experienced in the course of my treatment. Let it be said that I always wait patiently, even when the wait is long. I bring something to do, and I keep smiling, because everyone has to wait sometime, and there's no reason why it shouldn't be my turn. Also, in doctor's offices, I make the assumption that the delay is caused by someone who is far sicker than me, so I am hopeful that it means that if I am in need of immediate attention, I will receive it.

But here's my word to the wise for doctors: if you're going to ask a patient to come in early, it is totally disrespectful to then keep that patient waiting past the original appointment time. Also, an appropriate apology would begin with, "I'm sorry *we* (or *I*) kept you waiting" not "I'm sorry *you* feel that way" or, worse, "It's not my fault" (yes, she really said that).

My internist and my endocrinologist always keep me waiting at least an hour. I have never complained, and I have always sympathized with their excessive caseloads when they apologized for the delay (because they always do). Moreover, both of them teach, but neither has ever failed to ask if it's okay to bring the students in at that visit, even though they know I will say yes (because I always do).

So, as I said, I did appreciate the insights and support, and I'm sorry I left this thread to hang. I'll let you know how it all turns out eventually (when I finally take action), but for right now, it's probably more urgent that I avoid the tobacco cravings than vent my spleen about bad behavior in the medical community.