[LuckyLinda]

I absolutely feel that way. Ultimately, I am relying on the expertise of my doctors and on their guidance in how best to treat my disease. I have no medical background, so I don't feel equipped to take charge of my own treatment. I can't order my own tests, I can't force the radiology department to get me in sooner, and I don't get to dictate which drugs would be most effective to treat my cancer. I couldn't even persuade my gynecologist's office to see me when I found a lump in my breast. It took a week and a complaint to the office manager, to get in. And it was October--National Breast Cancer Awareness month. I'm just trying to go with the flow, stay as positive as possible, and discuss my treatment options with my doctor in as intelligent a manner as I can. And I really like my oncologist and trust that he is doing what is best for me. But I do get frustrated when I read these signatures and realize that so many of the subscribers have been through the very same treatments only to find a year (or five years) down the road that their cancer has metastasized. There are days (like today when I am waiting for my oncologist's secretary to schedule my radiology consult and she leaves a message telling me that they are really busy but will try to "squeeze" me in sometime in the next week) when I get really scared that these "aggressive" cells are going to get away from me before the targetted treatment can stop them. The wheels move so slowly. I hope I am not the only person who gets frustrated and feels like things should move faster.