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Re: It's official
I understand your feelings about wearing brave face around your children. Mine were in college but living at home. I hid my fears from them b/c I didn't want to scare them esp since I totally believed I would go into remission. I wanted to be an example of how to deal with adversity and share my faith in God's plan for us. As their mother I still needed to protect them and many people told me how proud the boys were of my courage.
However, we are only human and there were a couple of meltdowns around them and a couple of "roid rages" where I was not very nice. But on balance they understood those were the exceptions and caused by decadron and chemo brain. So, if it happens, don't beat yourself up. When those happened they understod it wasn't the real me and instead of being offended they were by my side comforting me.
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Vicki
Lord, give me the comfort of Your embrace and acceptance of Your will.
3/11: DX: IDC, HER2++, ER/PR neg, stage 4, mets to liver. Primary tumor: grade 3; 11 cm. 2nd smaller tumor: ~2.5cm. Multiple affected nodes, 1 spot on liver. 6 rounds TCH prior to bmx.
7/11: Nothing left except Primary breast tumor now 1.5cm.
8/11: BMX, 17/17 nodes clear. No post-op chemo or radiation indicated. NED!
10/11: NED! Continue Herceptin indef.
2/12: Reoccurence of liver mets; both lobes. Tykerb added to Herceptin.
5/12: Progression of liver mets. Stop Tykerb, start Abraxane & Herceptin weekly.
8/12: Progression in liver and lymph nodes around liver and right kidney. Herceptin not working anymore! Stop Abraxane and Herceptin. Start Tykerb and Xeloda.
10/12: Severe side effects. 3 weeks break from everything.
12/12: It's working! All tumors gone except 2 (from 20+) Continue Tykerb and Xeloda. Brain and spine MRIs clear.
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