[StephN]

Dear Emilie B -

Thank you for your honest and candid post.
(I took the liberty of making a spelling correction on the thread title - to Palliative - with an "i".)

I am sure that the varying reactions come from differing points of view, some of which correspond to those here who are continuing treatment through thick and thin.

Your disease burden does not seem to be so large and numerous that it could not have a chance for control. This situation seems to be partly the cause of the "speechless" reponses, without that exactly being said.

I don't see any current marker numbers, but assume you have current scans to watch the changes by.

Amy's comment: "One of the affirmations I listen to says something like, "More and more, I realize that I can heal myself and live, or I can heal myself and die. My physical condition is not a factor in my wholeness." When I first heard that it was jarring."

That is the same tape I listened to every night as I fell asleep when I was beginning my mets fight against raging liver mets. I asked for healing of my spirit as well as my body. Strong prayers several times a day became my routine. I threw myself into my healing with all my might. If the good Lord might spare me because I was needed by my family and parents, I would give my body over to His plan.

Having stayed alive has not been without its trials, but I managed to make it through them all up to now. My family has never made me feel like I have been a burden, and I do all I can for them with the energy and strength I have, which is not constant. Some days are better than others.

Enjoy your trip to France and the beautiful spring weather that is upon us. My aunt also stopped treatment for a slow growing kind of breast cancer and lived for almost FIVE more years. She did use some alternative methods, and that was nearly 15 years ago.