[AlaskaAngel]

The numbers tell us that 2/3 of all breast cancers happen to people over age 55. The spread is slightly younger for those who are HER2 positive but still most are being hit with it at middle age.

We do the best we can. But I think a much better job of it could be done by us and our providers. Breast cancer and treatment have been around for decades, and without truthful information right up front about what we are likely to face, the process is a lot more difficult and painful than it needs to be.

Sometimes it gets hidden behind the excuse that it is okay not to be honest with patients ahead of time because "maybe they won't do what providers think is best". Sometimes it happens just because the nurses who see us haven't had the experience themselves and at 20 or 30 or even 40 they still do have more ability to exercise while eating more, where we don't. The worst among them are the providers who can dole out the treatment and pass out the post-treatment meds and lubricants, but don't provide realistic counseling about aging and sexual changes that come with treatment.

And some of it is the differences among us in age at time of treatment. There are those who are still young and "lucky" because they are on "temporary menopause" through drugs that cause temporary cessation of menstruation -- but at the same time, remain at higher risk for recurrence because they are younger. Unfortunately they often post about how quickly they recovered from treatment, and how easy it was to lose the weight they gained during treatment, and how their hair came back very nicely, as if that is what happens with most cancer patients (and as if most other cancer patients just like to complain more, or aren't trying as hard).

Is it that hard to be truthful about treatment with patients so that they don't end up feeling like they were too stupid to know they were being misled?

AlaskaAngel