[CarolineC]

Thank you everyone for your responses; I am SO glad I finally joined this site. 7andcounting, in my haze the other day I didn't mention that I went to personally thank the pharmacist for phoning oncology; I also Thank God because someone was looking out for me that day. The oncology nurse saw me while I was in the hospital even though she was going on a trip the next day.

I was so down in my post because I didn't mention that at my second treatment all went okay after the Docetaxel, but when I had my Herceptin infusion I had an episode where my heart was jumping and I had warm flushes with a racing heart and I had to be given steroids and oxygen. I had been out of breath the week before from just getting out of the hospital and I usually ask to have the infusion over 90 min, but forgot and they gave it to me for 30 min. Has anyone else had something like that happen? I have regular echos every 3 months, as I did the first time I was on Herceptin. I had also had out of breath and weakness issues but when I went off the Herceptin they resolved.

Since now I will be on Herceptin indefinitely, I'm wondering if maybe I should see a cardiologist. I am on low-dose beta blockers (which they took me off in the hospital because of the bp issues) but not really being monitored because the internist I saw at the time who prescribed them, has moved. The reason I went on them in the first place was that I was so sick and having bp and heartrate issues before I was first diagnosed, that the internist recommended, because I was to have AC and Herceptin, that I go on them. Within a month I started feeling better- not so shaky and jittery anymore. My onc knows I'm on them, but we haven't really discussed whether I should stay on them or what. My regular gp is on a year long leave. I try to walk as much as possible to strengthen my overall body. In fact today I will try to trudge around town because I am feeling abit better and my plan has always been to get up and get moving as soon as my body feels it's ready after chemo.

On my first set of chemo I was on a 3 week schedule but I still needed Neupogen shots for 4 days and then a few days before my next treatment. In the hospital I needed 3 shots before the counts got to one point above the lowest of normal. After the second treatment I started the shots on day 3 for 4 days and just found out yesterday that I'll need 3 more days at least. (glad I wore a mask to the lab for the bloodwork because I had to wait for half an hour) I knew I would need more because I can feel when things aren't right and my body wasn't even aching after 4 shots.

Obviously my body is being hit by the chemo. I always felt so much better the first time around overall when I had the Neupogen shots. But is that a good thing? Do I want my body to feel totally down because then it's also hitting the cancer? The Neupogen basically makes my immune system able to handle the next chemo-I read somewhere that the white blood cells should be "wimpy" because then the chemo can be more effective(or something like that). Since I will have had so many Neupogen shots, in the long term is it safe? Should I switch to Navelbine because it's not supposed to be as harsh? Or should I stay on the Docetaxel at a lower dosage?

The reason I went on the chemo, because it was up to me, was that although there was no evidence of cancer anywhere but a 3cm hole in my sternum, I wanted to wipe out any microscopic cells. I asked the onc at the larger centre if that is what she would do and she said yes. I got home after radiation and the local onc says Letrozole and Herceptin without chemo is just as effective. That duo is my plan after chemo.

It's hard because this time there is no protocol for my situation like the first time, no one telling me "this is what you do" and I did it. I especially don't have alot of people in my situation.

Coolbreeze, I am beginning to think I have an oligometastasis although no one has told me that; I only learned that from your experience (we are close to the same date of original diagnosis and treatment) and this site. They don't even know what really happened; one onc said with the cells going through my body, they just stuck in my sternum. The rad onc said maybe the cancer went to the internal mammary chain and then into my sternum. It just happens to be maybe 2 inches from the original tumour, so I believe him more.

Anyway, I hope I make sense because I'm still abit tired. I really appreciate your kind words and input.

Caroline