[Ruth2]

I bonded with the chemo room right away but took a little longer to feel comfortable with the radiation room, with its big machine and the strap on my feet and the need not to move. It was psychologically harder in many ways to interact with a big machine (though wonderful people were on the other side of the door, always smiling, always helping when they could come in). Anybody with past experience of being somehow traumatized in a close space needs extra help with the transition to radiation. A wonderful friend gave me some advice: to take a flower into the room, something I could see. I didn't take a flower but a book of her poems, and that gave me comfort, as much as a flower, knowing it was in my purse. That day I also noticed that there was a somehow lighter corner of the dark room with a shelf that had the CD player and a number of angel figurines, including one that glowed. As for the physical, I did experience fatigue but used a great cream (Miaderm) and didn't suffer on the skin, though by the end I did look like an iron had been held to my breast. During the time of my radiation, my mother's nursing home helped us both out in very kind ways as she was in hospice and I was juggling time there with herceptin, radiation, and all the rest. People are angels too.