HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

v-ness · 04-17-2011, 04:51 PM

hi darlene, i had the same diagnosis as you except my tumor was a grade 2 and i had a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy. had the TCH too and finished Herceptin in october. i was like a yo-yo when it came to fear of recurrence. even though my onco told me last january that i was "cancer free" part of me thought "how do you really know?" then i figured it's a crap shoot, and you can choose to either be positive and hopeful or be negative and worry yourself to death over something out of your hands in the first place. if you're positive, you sure enjoy life a lot more in the meantime, even if cancer did recur. i also read the book "After Breast Cancer" by musa mayer and that helped me think about the chances of recurrence differently. when i got my port out in october i was jubilant. i was DONE with cancer, yahoo. and it really did go to the back of my mind. i went to a mammogram without a worry, and i am honest about this. i'm not trying to sound like i was tough, i really went there feeling confident. and i went to my MRI in march feeling the same way. when they said i had a couple spots in my opposite breast "that were probably a whole lotta nothing, but i should have a biopsy to be sure" i was thunderstruck. chances were that it really was nothing, but of course i was scared. at the same time, though, i felt that i had that first treatment under my belt. if it was cancer, i was savvy now and i'd attack it twice as hard and it wasn't going to get me. thank god it turned out to be a cluster of old inflammed cysts which did not resemble cysts on the MRI or US. so now i am back to my former confidence again. i know how lucky i was finding it so early. it feels much better to concentrate on the good things about early stage and the kind of treatment we've had and also know that there is a lot more out there to help us should something bad happen. remember that kennedy quote about nothing to fear but fear itself? fear will crush you and rob you of happiness and joy of the day you are living. someday it will recede and you can help push it back. and when you need more help, there's always this place here.

valerie

04-17-2011, 04:51 PM	#14
v-ness Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western ma Posts: 280	Re: Consumed with fear of recurrence hi darlene, i had the same diagnosis as you except my tumor was a grade 2 and i had a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy. had the TCH too and finished Herceptin in october. i was like a yo-yo when it came to fear of recurrence. even though my onco told me last january that i was "cancer free" part of me thought "how do you really know?" then i figured it's a crap shoot, and you can choose to either be positive and hopeful or be negative and worry yourself to death over something out of your hands in the first place. if you're positive, you sure enjoy life a lot more in the meantime, even if cancer did recur. i also read the book "After Breast Cancer" by musa mayer and that helped me think about the chances of recurrence differently. when i got my port out in october i was jubilant. i was DONE with cancer, yahoo. and it really did go to the back of my mind. i went to a mammogram without a worry, and i am honest about this. i'm not trying to sound like i was tough, i really went there feeling confident. and i went to my MRI in march feeling the same way. when they said i had a couple spots in my opposite breast "that were probably a whole lotta nothing, but i should have a biopsy to be sure" i was thunderstruck. chances were that it really was nothing, but of course i was scared. at the same time, though, i felt that i had that first treatment under my belt. if it was cancer, i was savvy now and i'd attack it twice as hard and it wasn't going to get me. thank god it turned out to be a cluster of old inflammed cysts which did not resemble cysts on the MRI or US. so now i am back to my former confidence again. i know how lucky i was finding it so early. it feels much better to concentrate on the good things about early stage and the kind of treatment we've had and also know that there is a lot more out there to help us should something bad happen. remember that kennedy quote about nothing to fear but fear itself? fear will crush you and rob you of happiness and joy of the day you are living. someday it will recede and you can help push it back. and when you need more help, there's always this place here. valerie __________________ 8/09 - IDC 1.8 cm triple positive, lumpectomy left breast 10/09 began chemo (taxotere & carboplatin) and weekly herceptin. 1/21/10 finished chemo, continued on herceptin every 3 weeks until 10/2010. 2/10 began 7 wks of radiation 6/10 mom dies of primary peritoneal ovarian cancer 8/10 got my last remaining ovary out 10/10 mammogram all clear 3/11 MRI shows 5 'spots' in right breast, largest 1 cm unidentifiable on US needle biopsy proved the largest to be old inflamed cyst -phew! 7/10 switched to Arimidex 8/9 switched to Femara - allergic to arimidex Femara made me lose hair quickly so switched to Aromasin Aromasin made my hair fall out too and the bone pain was too much. back on Tamoxifen 1/2013. blood clot from trains and planes 5/2014 so on coumadin per onco for as long as i am on tamoxifen tamoxifen was supposed to be up with my 5 yrs in may but my boyfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer so i am staying on tamoxifen indefinitely because i want some ammo against BC, given the stress. lost my husband in only 10 wks in 2007 to stage 4 esophageal cancer. cancer's screwing with another man i love 2/2016 - 6yrs in remission, off tamoxifen and off coumadin - yay!