[Mary Jo]

Hi Darlene,

I, too, will echo what some of the others have shared with you. You are NORMAL...NORMAL...NORMAL (isn't that good to know? ) I would say the first 2 years all I thought about was recurrence. As Becky said, "from the time I got up till I went to bed." I had a new cancer recurrence almost daily....somewhere else (wherever the new ache was) and told my husband of this each day when he returned from work...(oh the poor guy). Trust me....trust the others who have "spoken" to you...this most definitely will pass as time goes on. It is too bad we have to live like this for those first couple years (I believe most of us do) but unfortunately, it is part of this journey. The worst part, I might add. Fear and all that goes with it literally robs you (us) of the joy we whould be dealing with each day we are alive.

I am just about 6 years out now (June 2011) and I can honestly tell you that I never think about a recurrence anymore. Also, to be totally honest with you, I hardly can remember having had the cancer, the 2 mastectomies, the chemo, radiation, herceptin and delayed reconstruction. Honestly truly. It seems as if it all happened to someone else and I only have a vague memory of it.

You will get their, I promise. It's all too new yet. One day at a time. Try to tell yourself each day "TODAY, I do not have cancer and I will live my life cancer free today." It helps, trust me. I had to tell myself that for quite some time.

Love and peace..........

Mary Jo