[michka]

Hi Caya! Thank you so much for thinking of me. To tell the truth, I am not too well but much better than a week ago. I had horrible pain below my right ribs after I laughed and was back in the hospital in ER. It was the first time I laughed since the discovery of my met. They gave me morphine and did a scanner and an echo. That was almost 4 weeks after surgery.
They said they saw nothing but wanted me to stay overnight. The surgeon looked very worried but kept saying he did everything perfectly. I had to tell him to stop protecting himself, it was not the point. I just wanted to stop suffering and understand what was going on. The next day I was better although still in pain. Seeing them so worried and not talking I said to myself I had to get out of there and see someone else. They didn't like the idea but had nothing to suggest. I left the hospital and contacted a very good friend who is a "hepato gastro" doctor. How do you say that in english? I figure you understand. With the scan and the echo he told me it was very clear: a stitch or clamp must have broken when I laughed and you could see traces of the bleeding on the scan. he said that's why they were worried not knowing if it would stay stable and heal or if it would worsen. He reassured me telling me I should not wait in a hospital bed but not move at home. He told me what to watch carefully and if some parameters changed to go to the hospital where he works. He said it should get better very slowly but it is very painful. It did get much better but now I am afraid to move, sneeze or laugh. I have had coagulation problems during my 2 breast reconstruction surgeries and I always knew this means cancer although nothing ever came out as being abnormal in all the very intensive work they did on my blood.

I had my first infusion of herceptin 10 days before this episode and was so sick. I did not have that with herceptin before but maybe it is because my liver was not healed. I had very bad nausea, chills, headache and pain but it only lasted 48 hours. I started Tykerb 2 weeks ago. 2 pills for a week and now 3 pills until I see my onc again at the end of next week. It is a little difficult on my intestine so I am on the Brat diet. This part is OK. I know how to handle. What worries me is that on the scan they did in the hospital it also shows they see 2 other pale spots on the liver. That is what worries me the most. They did a scan without contrast. I have a MRI of the liver scheduled the day before I see my onc. I am scared stiff. With my onc we should also discuss chemo or not chemo and what. I would like to go with Navelbine. But if I have no other met, should I go for Chemo or keep it as a future weapon?

I didn't need this complication but I am better. Just hoping I have no other met.I am trying to take hold of my mind and be stronger. Thinking of Steph, Elaine, Andy, Kim, Tricia, Chrisy, Stephanie, Jackie, Lori, Trish, Sheila, Pam, Chelee, K1 and KDR and so many other courageous ladies who don't complain and fight.
Love to all. Michka