[joletta]

Hi Angelina,
My thoughts were exactly like yours thinking God was mad and all. I also lost my mom in 2003 so I was thinking mabe she wanted me back. I was so confused, nervous and I just kept thinking this cant be happening to me I have an 8 month old and 5 year old. I will tell this is a battle its not easy, but you need to be strong and the people on this site are remarkable and we all help each other. The stage you are at of not knowing is the hardest however try to not let anxiety take over, because anxiety can give you symptoms that dont exist...like shortness of breath...it will try to take over your mind. Also try to take a deep breath continuesly talking it may drain you, so if you need a brake dont feel bad to not answer the phone. Put trust in your doctor but do be persistant to get things resolved. They probley will not know 100% what kind of invasion you have untill they do surgery and node dissection. If I were you (and its what i did) I would get a double masectomy so you dont ever have to worry about the other side once this cancer is cured. I am stage 3 with 4 pos nodes and I was able to get them reconstructed with tissue expanders..it is a way they stretch your skin...so you would need to get a plastic surgeon...It is corodinated at the same time of the masectomy surgery. Then you will visit w/your plastic surgeon to get them expanded again to the size you want..a good plastic surgeon can make you about 1 size larger than previous. I was devasted to lose my hair but in the realm of things all that stuff is not imporant..People dont love you because of hair, boobs, nails ect...Take one thing @ a time One day @ a time..Please email me if you want to talk Ill give you my phone #. Please know you will be ok whatever the diagnosis there are great meds and the rest of the ladies on this site can back that up more than myself!!
you are in my prayers,
Joletta