[CoolBreeze]

Becky, good for you on not taking it But, I have to say, I have a responsibility to my family too and if I hurt so bad I can't move I'm not living up to that responsibly either.

You have to really balance your quality of life with the possibility of recurrence and that's a pretty hard choice to make.

I'm still taking tamoxifen but only because I have pain control. There will come a day when he says "no more pain meds" and then I may have to reconsider taking it. I don't *want* to stop but my quality of life is not good at all. I'm on my third month and I have heard that some people adjust so I hope end up being one but so far, not good.

Even with percocet I have problems doing things. Today we went to a museum with the family, and just in two hours I was in some pretty bad pain, had to sit at the end, and wanted to sleep when I got home. I'm only 52 and was perfectly healthy before this. I could walk all day and never feel tired. Today, my back, my hips, my thighs, my knees just ached. Before, I looked and felt ten years younger. I didn't understand why people my age complained of aches and pains - I never had any. That's changed, with a vengeance.

I work in a school and go back to work in one week - haven't worked since I started tamox. I'm just not sure how I am going to be able to manage, getting up at 5:00 a.m. especially in the winter when it's cold and dark.

I don't want cancer again but also want to live my life. I feel like I'm on a teeter-totter.

That brings me to Terri's question about her wife and exercise. I had always planned to exercise as soon as my expander was out and I was healed. I have always been thin and so never got into the exercise routine. I have always been very healthy even without it, and even though I never did formal excercise, I walked places and took stairs rather than elevators, etc. I moved. But, after cancer, I feel like I should keep my body at its optimum and I thought I'd sign up for yoga or something gentle. I have not had weight gain from the drug but of course, it's important to exercise. I always knew that but ignored it.

I cannot even imagine it now since tamox, I hurt so much.

I am still going to try it when my surgery is done. Because, who knows, maybe it will help. Since the reason we have the joint pain is that our cartiledge needs estrogen and that's gone, and we lose that padding between our bones, then it seems logical that it is important to strengthen your muscles to take some of the pressure off your joints But, it's very hard to get motivated when you can hardly move until your two percocet kick in.

The hot flashes are miserable but the pain is the worst part. I could do it all without that.

For those of us who have the extreme SEs, like me, I think it's important that we tell our doctors that it is not like menopause. Because, it isn't. Think of all the thousands of 60-70 year olds out there who have been through menopause and who still ride bikes, take classes and live full lives. I think physicians need to know how bad it is - and not that we are just "suddenly plunged into menopause" which is what I've heard in some articles.