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Old 07-09-2010, 08:34 AM   #10
jml
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 415
Scans a little worse...me a lot scared

Hi everyone~
Thanks for your kinds words and encouragement.
I'm feeling sad and defeated today as the scan results weren't what we hoped.
There are a few nodes in my belly and lungs that are showing more activity than the previous scan, BUT the liver looks much better and responded well to the chemoembo I had a month ago.
What scares me the most is that I was initially responding beautifully to the 1st 2 cycles of Ixempra -with many nodes even disappearing. But now, in spite of
3 more cycles, rather than cleaning up the rest of the disease, some of it has managed to fire back up.
I just feel so defeated...how am I going to beat this montser?
The plan now is to take a break from Ixempra, stay on Herceptin, repeat the liver directed therapy with more chemoembo or RFA and wait for August 3rd to get here when I'll be eligible to apply for TDM1.
My doc suggested my next Herceptin dose be q3week dose vs. weekly so that I can have some time to go home to Hawaii and rest...though it sort of feels like I'd be going to say my goodbyes.

I've been feeling so physcially awful from all this treatment and so I truly welcome the break. I look forward to gaining some strength back and not always feeling sick, and know when I feel better, my heart and my attitude will be better too.

Today, I'm just sad.
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