[Joan M]

Hi everyone,

Tonya, thanks for asking, and yes I have been very busy.

Things have been both good and bad. I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first, which is related to my stage iv cancer.

There's no sign of cancer lately, which is a good thing. The bad stuff relates to the thoracic surgery, and I'm very upset about it because I feel like I'm literally unraveling at the seams and the thoracic surgeon is very evasive on questioning.

I've never felt physically the same since the surgery, and I have constant pain and discomfort in the rib cage and back, a pulling sensation. And my rib cage on the surgery side sticks out much further than on the opposite side. I've just gotten used to it. It's now become part of life.

But besides that, about two weeks ago I noticed a bump about the size of half a hard ball in the middle of my shoulder blade, which turned out to be fluid accumulation. The thoracic surgeon who did the "emergency" surgery in July (who I do not trust, along with his staff) withdrew 50 cc of fluid, which tested negative for cancer, bacteria and fungus. And I'm grateful for that. As far as he's concerned, the issue is resolved unless it happens again, and I don't like his attitude.

The CT scan report said that fluid accumulation between the posterior chest wall and pleural space had deeply penetrated to the latissimus dorsi mucle. It also suggested a possible "communication" between those two spaces, which is basically a hole (even though there was no actual sign of that), and that attention should be given to follow-up. Since I'm due for regular scans in early March that will be the follow-up.

I've had a lot more discomfort since the bump, and I'm feeling more out of breathe going up stairs and doing tasks, probably due to the fluid accumulation putting pressure in the area. The surgeon said the body will absorb the extra water.

The area of the lung where the surgery was done looks fine, and the fluid accumulation is on the other side of the chest wall, so not in the lung cavity.

The surgeon was very evasive on questioning. I've yet to find out the bigger implications of this, other than the fact that he'd have to go in there again to fix it if it happens again.

I've been watching the reduced bump, which may have gotten a little bigger, but it's hard to tell just yet.

I had a brain MRI in October which showed increased enhancement over the June scan in the area of the surgery and radiation. The report said it was probably due to postradiation changes (that is, necrosis), but regrowth could not be ruled out. I've spoken to both the radiation oncologist and neuro-oncologist, which both say we'll just have to wait it out. And I'm not good at that.

But the good news is that there's no confirmation of any cancer anywhere, even though that's always a waiting game, anyway.

Also, I've been volunteering one day a week answering the SHARE hotline and happy to be helping out.

Since photography is my hobby I've been taking classes lately. It's good because it keeps my mind occupied and helps me to stop worrying.

I'm adjusting to not working any more. I was due to return to work in early September after recuperating from the thoracic surgery in July, but along with my oncologist, decided to call it a day. My job was very stressful and demanding, and several of my co-workers have been let go since then. It's been an adjustment emotionally. I went through a very hard time with that and I think I'm finally starting to emerge.

xoxo

Joan