Unregistered

I know these are hurtful things to think about, feel, discuss, etc. I agree that it is not helpful to judge, since judgements are usually just a projection of our own fears and insecurities. More helpful is to recognize what YOUR feelings are about it in relation to your own relationships and situations, and deal with YOUR feelings about YOUR situations as they come up. It seems to really be about fear, fear of our or our memory or our children being "abandoned." These are definitely painful thoughts. But it may be more helpful to give up the illusion that we'll have any control over what happens to our family once we've crossed over. We can lay groundwork, but ultimately we likely will have no control, and that is our fear, that is what we need to face and work on.
Peace and Blessings to all
Liz