[Ruth]

This was hard to me to read especially with the coincidence of our beloved Marie post just this past couple weeks. I am mixed on my feelings as many of all of us seem to be. These past 6 1/2 years I have noticed all of these things happen after death of a spouse or loved one...fast dating times, marriages in months and then the other end of never marrying or even much of dating after many, many years after a beloved has passed away. It happens not only from cancer, it happens with auto accidents, heart attacks and many other forms of death. It is so hard if not impossible to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Walking their walk.
I have very small children and a darling husband they help fill up so much of my time. I get an incredible amount of love and support from them. My dad passed away very unexpectedly and even with all the love and support I had around me I couldn't make a rational decision for at least a year. I looked like Ruth, I talked like Ruth but Ruth wasn't inside for a while. My heart was totally broken. I truly believe that you can't make any kind of serious commitment or decision until healing takes place. For some people healing takes place in a year, some in years and some never. Part of who you are dies along with the person that you loved so desperately that died so in some essence you are not the same ~ or not at least who you really are. Time is needed. And by goodness kids need lots of time!

I want everyone to have love in their lives, feel happiness but I feel its not good for them to make any major decisions or commitments right after a major emotional place of time. I understand the joy of actually feeling good after feeling terrible for a long time. It can be like a drug - but it can also cover up grief or push grief down. Many people deal with tragety in different ways. It's hard to understand sometimes but hopefully in time they will heal and be in a good place. That good place hopefully will be with their whole family at their side.
I think I'm starting to ramble and need to go to bed! HA - its 12 and I have to get up with the munckins at 6!
I love all of you and I want everyone to be happy.