[Mary Jo]

Tonya, your feelings are so right on and so normal. Of course, we all would feel awful (and do) over the thought of someone else loving our husbands, or wives, or raising our children. I totally get that and totally understand that. I would feel no different.....the only thing I want to make clear is that for those who do move on and find "love" again that is their right....It isn't up to us to judge how long someone should mourn their lost spouse....it isn't up to us to decide how long is long enough......or to ask them to think before they announce here that they have found love.

As I continue to say......."until we have walked a mile in their shoes, who are we to judge."

That statement has nothing at all to do with people feeling sad at the prospect of being "gone" and someone else raising their children or loving their spouse. Absolutely nothing....but for those who come to this board or into our lives and "announce that they have moved on and found love again" - I am happy for them and feel they have the same right. It isn't my place to decide if they waited long enough.

I'm not usually one to do battle here at her2support but in this instance feel I am standing up for a dear friend among us and feel the need to stand up for that individual. This topic must really hurt that individual and that makes me sad. Very sad.