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Chelee · 11-26-2009, 05:59 PM

I loved, enjoyed and looked forward to the holidays when I was young. But as I got older...even long before bc I found the holidays very difficult and just wanted to get them behind me for lots of reasons.

The holidays are even worse now since my bc dx. I was dx 12-05. And I found the lump mself in November of that year which put a major damper on my holidays. It turned into biopsy, mastectomy, labs, chemo, endless appts, etc. You all know the drill. Felt bad for my family having to deal with this because of me. It about killed my Mother watching me go through this. Then I get through my first year of trt and my Mother got dx with advanced lung cancer and I rallied around her to help her through it. (We were so close and here we were dealing with cancer nightmares together.) I watched her go from a bit strong woman to nothing in a years time & pass away...oh how I miss her.

And here it is the holidays again and I was told of my recurrence in Sept. and all I've done it see doctors and sit and try to make the best decisions and pray they are the right ones? I'm back to feeling like I don't know if this will be my last year and I hate it. I know my cancer is on the move but yet have to wait for this hip to heal...it's so frustrating. So in saying all that the holidays aren't very exciting for me. I'm just sitting here alone today. It was great when I was young and we have BIG family get togethers. I have alot of emotional baggage I guess you could say around this time of year...again...it started long before the bc. (Although that didn't help any.) But I'm thankful to still be here and I just continue to pray I'll be here next year too...along with everyone else on this board.

Chelee

11-26-2009, 05:59 PM	#19
Chelee Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southern, CA Posts: 2,511	Re: How do you feel during the holidays? I loved, enjoyed and looked forward to the holidays when I was young. But as I got older...even long before bc I found the holidays very difficult and just wanted to get them behind me for lots of reasons. The holidays are even worse now since my bc dx. I was dx 12-05. And I found the lump mself in November of that year which put a major damper on my holidays. It turned into biopsy, mastectomy, labs, chemo, endless appts, etc. You all know the drill. Felt bad for my family having to deal with this because of me. It about killed my Mother watching me go through this. Then I get through my first year of trt and my Mother got dx with advanced lung cancer and I rallied around her to help her through it. (We were so close and here we were dealing with cancer nightmares together.) I watched her go from a bit strong woman to nothing in a years time & pass away...oh how I miss her. And here it is the holidays again and I was told of my recurrence in Sept. and all I've done it see doctors and sit and try to make the best decisions and pray they are the right ones? I'm back to feeling like I don't know if this will be my last year and I hate it. I know my cancer is on the move but yet have to wait for this hip to heal...it's so frustrating. So in saying all that the holidays aren't very exciting for me. I'm just sitting here alone today. It was great when I was young and we have BIG family get togethers. I have alot of emotional baggage I guess you could say around this time of year...again...it started long before the bc. (Although that didn't help any.) But I'm thankful to still be here and I just continue to pray I'll be here next year too...along with everyone else on this board. Chelee __________________ DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes. Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs. Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06 Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07 3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07 9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV. 9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa 9-29-09 Power Port Placement 10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head. 11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed 12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa. 3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed. 4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone. 5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy. Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time. 7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options. Last edited by Chelee; 11-26-2009 at 09:33 PM..