I definatly enjoy holidays more since I had bc, just knowing I'm still here and healthy and enjoy my family and the simple things all the more.
I do relate to the guilty feeling a little too, I've lost a few friends I was diagnosed with and wish they were here still also.
I don't think it's guilt so much as sadness and maybe frustration that some are taken too soon and we just don't know why.
I always think of these special friends at holiday also