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Chelee · 09-16-2009, 07:39 PM

Dear Sue, I went through the same thing with my Mother a tad over 2 yrs ago. My Mother had advanced lung cancer. She only got to fight a touch over a year...but she went through so much in that short time.

Like your Mom...I noticed my Mom really went down hill after WBR. She didn't want to eat much after that...her mind was never the same. She'd lay there while I sat with her. She couldn't get up by herself to use the bathroom without help. Couldn't even feed herself. She went from this big strong woman down to about 100 lbs and looked so frail in that one year...it just about killed me to watch her. She was my Mother and my best friend in the world. Just thinking of it now and what your going through brings tears to my eyes. I can certainly sympathize with you in a very big way.

I know what a difficult decision it is to bring in hospice. I know personally for me I waited far too long. I didn't want to let my Mother go...but I was in denial...she was gone already in a sense. She got to where she couldn't eat anything or even sip water. I knew in my heart if my Mother would of had a say in her own situation...she would of wanted me to let her go. There were no miracles left for her.

It sounds like you & your family all agree it's time to let her go. Your Mother was a fighter...she battled 10 long yrs & I agree with you that it would be pointless to go on at this point. But this is such a personal decision & never an easy one by any means. Since you were so close to your Mom...just ask yourself what she would want at this point...I think you know that answer. My heart goes out to you...I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. God bless you & your family.

Chelee

09-16-2009, 07:39 PM	#3
Chelee Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southern, CA Posts: 2,511	Re: Hospice care Dear Sue, I went through the same thing with my Mother a tad over 2 yrs ago. My Mother had advanced lung cancer. She only got to fight a touch over a year...but she went through so much in that short time. Like your Mom...I noticed my Mom really went down hill after WBR. She didn't want to eat much after that...her mind was never the same. She'd lay there while I sat with her. She couldn't get up by herself to use the bathroom without help. Couldn't even feed herself. She went from this big strong woman down to about 100 lbs and looked so frail in that one year...it just about killed me to watch her. She was my Mother and my best friend in the world. Just thinking of it now and what your going through brings tears to my eyes. I can certainly sympathize with you in a very big way. I know what a difficult decision it is to bring in hospice. I know personally for me I waited far too long. I didn't want to let my Mother go...but I was in denial...she was gone already in a sense. She got to where she couldn't eat anything or even sip water. I knew in my heart if my Mother would of had a say in her own situation...she would of wanted me to let her go. There were no miracles left for her. It sounds like you & your family all agree it's time to let her go. Your Mother was a fighter...she battled 10 long yrs & I agree with you that it would be pointless to go on at this point. But this is such a personal decision & never an easy one by any means. Since you were so close to your Mom...just ask yourself what she would want at this point...I think you know that answer. My heart goes out to you...I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. God bless you & your family. Chelee __________________ DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes. Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs. Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06 Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07 3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07 9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV. 9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa 9-29-09 Power Port Placement 10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head. 11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed 12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa. 3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed. 4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone. 5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy. Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time. 7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.