[Believe51]

Hello My Chickadees! I have been very sad lately and having boughts with severe anxiety. My hands are kind of tied right now as far as his journey goes, so I decided to burn off that anxiety and sadness by cleaning the house room by room. I strategically arranged the bedroom for his complete comfort if that time comes. I nonchalantly placed pictures at an eyes glance, moved some things down or within reach, types of things that would make his immediate future more comfortable. The music room was hard to clean, especially because this room was always full of music and beauty and now it is deafeningly silent. I made it through though, I remembered the songs he wrote and the special music we listened to. I remembered every tear from every touching piece of music I ever heard here. Times like this overwhelm me.

Well friends, this post made me smile and I feel so wonderful to be loved and appreciated so. I must admit, I peeked every day and although I did not reply too much, I do not stray far! (lol)

We have an appointment with the OncoMan on Wednesday. He will not be happy! Ed was supposed to get a bone scan, brain MRI, and catscan and has not done a thing. He is still recovering from the last treatment on June 26th. If I have to I will pull down Ed's pants to show the doctor just how damn skinny he is and that he just did not have it in him to do the tests. Of course, these tests were supposed to help us to plan the next actions. I feel like we are behind, I feel like a bomb is ticking!

But I am here and so is the Mighty Oak! We are still counting our blessings and begging for a miracle.>>Believe51