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Lori R · 07-18-2009, 07:42 AM

Sherry,
Here is one more vote for marriage counseling. If you express to your husband that there are aspects of your relationship that you would like to work on and he agrees to go, that is a HUGE sign that he wants the marriage to work. I would suggest the counseling question rather than a confrontational question such as "do you want to remain married"? (a question a threw out on the table when hurt and frustrated)

My cancer diagnosis caused me to rethink my marriage and I was shocked when my husband agreed to attend. Now I wish that we had pursued this years ago. (OK....this is one of cancers gifts) Turns out a lot of our frustrations were due to poor communication and the way in which we approached each other.

Guaranteed....we could not have worked through some of our feelings without a "referee" to help us keep the discussions positive and loving.

Please ask him...it will be painful at first but I can only imagine the pain of a divorce.

Just another perspective.....Lori

07-18-2009, 07:42 AM	#17
Lori R Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Evergreen, Colorado Posts: 454	Sherry, Here is one more vote for marriage counseling. If you express to your husband that there are aspects of your relationship that you would like to work on and he agrees to go, that is a HUGE sign that he wants the marriage to work. I would suggest the counseling question rather than a confrontational question such as "do you want to remain married"? (a question a threw out on the table when hurt and frustrated) My cancer diagnosis caused me to rethink my marriage and I was shocked when my husband agreed to attend. Now I wish that we had pursued this years ago. (OK....this is one of cancers gifts) Turns out a lot of our frustrations were due to poor communication and the way in which we approached each other. Guaranteed....we could not have worked through some of our feelings without a "referee" to help us keep the discussions positive and loving. Please ask him...it will be painful at first but I can only imagine the pain of a divorce. Just another perspective.....Lori __________________ 2007 Oct - Diagnosed - Stage IV 5 c.m. IDC - Left Side er/pr- Her2+++ Node + 2/14 - Single Liver Met Double Mastectomy Nov - Begin T+H 2008 Feb-Complete 6 cycles- T&H- NED March - Continue - Herceptin Only April - Rads for 6 weeks 2009 Continue Herceptin - Continue NED April - Recurrance- 3 cm. Liver Met May - Cryosurgery June - November - Abraxane + Herceptin Aug - PET/CT - CTC = 0 Back to NED 2010 January - Continue NED July - Recurrance - 3 cm Liver Met CTC=1 August - Cryosurgery #2 August - November Navelbine November - Back to NED - End Navelbine 2011 Feb - Recur - 4 cm Liver Met - Same Left Lobe March Surgery it is -Couldn't get a clean margin July - Confirmed continued liver involvement August - Begin Herceptin + Tykerb October - Mixed results from H+T Add Abraxane + H + T - Nov - April 2012 January PET Scan - It's working!! April - Back to NED July - Recurrance August - Begin TDM-1 Trial (Taxol + TDM-1)