[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi Carolyn! Yes, of course, you are so normal!!!! I smiled to myself as I read your words, remembering thinking those things myself. I made it through 3 years, being strong (I call it the wonderful place of denial) and then 3 months after ending herceptin, I became a nervous wreck. It was the pits, but I'm on the other side and only visit there on rare occasions now. I got anxiety meds (not taken yet) and know they are there if that goof world comes back.
You are so normal! This battle takes courage, information, and focus. Eventually it wears us out and we need a break....I agree that finding some ways to pamper and nurture yourself would be really good. Living in a world that few understand and even fewer want to know about, isolates us and takes us on a different path than most of the people who were our constant companions and friends.
You will get through this time, including the radiation (which will also kick bc butt) and you will have those days of not thinking about BC. Just remember that Joe and Christine have created this site just for us to come to for guidance and support! Some days I lived on the site just to find some sanity. Now, I come because I want to know how everyone is. I also am very aware that the day may come when I have to get back into the battle mode and be a fighter again.
We're here for you, just as someday you will be there for others. Best wishes for the rest of today being far more peaceful. ma