[Believe51]

Gamma Knife went much better than first time, he had bad met placement (aren't they all bad). Last time so he had to sit up, lean forward, etc. Not this time, things went on without a hitch, of course that had him so medicated that he did not even remember doing the MRI! (Hehe). He kept asking me how long the MRI would be and the nurse said it was already done....musta been my stop for breakfast when I missed this.

All 10 previous mets were shrinking and the MRI showed the rate of shrinkage from last Gamma. All shrinking at a wonderful rate except one that the surgeon decided was "Angry" and needed to be re-radiated! (Angry...that made me laugh!)

Total of 3 new mets, one tiny thing that looked like it could be a broken blood vessel and a re-zap. Five zaps and on our way. Through the day I ate breakfast and lunch, went shopping in the gift shop & the cancer gift shop. I also took walks in the snow and thought of you all my wonderful family here at Her2support. I smiled up into the falling snow and cried as I thought of the love and support you always give to us. We felt so protected!

This Gamma was our special gift to ourselves but also for others. We all need to know that the choices we make can benefit those around us to. Just think of the revived HOPE we are going to have when we hear that these mets are gone and we have added time to our lives!

Now for the best part of all, I am still livid about the next course of events. I did not know that the Gamma Knife was a procedure that you must stay overnight in the hospital next door. I do not know if this happens to everyone having this procedure or if it was from the prior complications of Ed's brain. We was supposed to stay last time but he went A.W.O.L.!

As we entered the room we were supposed to stay overnight in (yes, this one was also nearest the staircase for an easy escape if needed..Uggh) we did not even sit on the bed. I told the nurse of our situation and about the past issue with our escapee. I let her know of the sweet mentality and demeanor of Ed without these meds and the monster with them....he will be combative, he will escape, he will tired himself out with fustration. She called the attending to sign him out.

The attending came in and this is how his conversation started:

"Mr. G, I here you want to sign yourself out." (now yelling)...."DO YOU KNOW THAT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO THE SURGEON THAT PREFORMED YOUR PROCEDURE?? Do you know the implications of what could happen??" Ed being half deaf and very medicated did not respond. He proceeded to ask in the nicest way he knew how, what kind of 'mental incapacities' he had that he did not understand and said it like Ed was not even in the same room. The nurse quickly responded he had brain mets. I told him he had no mental problems, he is almost deaf and quite medicated. Then he continued yelling that "......what you need to know...." Argh, I cannot believed he called my husband retarted twice!

That is where I came in, for Ed and for all others who may ever face this doctor or doctors like him. "Escuse me, what YOU need to know is that my best friend has stage IV cancer and he has fought hard and long for over 2 years, he is tired and in pain. He wants to go home and be comfortable! There is no disrespect intended! As his wife and best friend I need to tend to all his wishes, take him home and keep him safe! As an educated person I do know he should stay!"

I almost had the doctor laid up in the bed Ed had refused to take and then he returned to the room. His shaved head was beet red from frustration and his attitude changed. Against everything he believed he signed Mighty Oak out. He even wished us a Happy Holiday and best wishes. To this day I cannot get over the arrogance.

Not to make this post a novel I will end with one more note: As soon as you get the C-word added into your life you should get a green light for anything you desire. I now feel that even without the C-word we all should get anything within our means that will improve the happiness and quality of life. I did not ask for anything out of the realm of reason. My husband is real sick, he has fought hard, he wanted to go home to his diabetic cat. My job was to protect and serve this man with the same respect he has given me when I had my cancer! What is so wrong with that?>>Believe51

PS: I bought a new plate for Santa's cookies that says....you guessed it....

BELIEVE!!

Thanks for loving us so strong and true!