[mts]

Cancer makes me think of life and living.
Perhaps this is an advantage you may have over Luca... any obstacle in a healthy world cannot compare to the obstacles cancer survivors face. No doubt mortgages, kids and jobs are stressful... throw cancer in the mix and the rest is mundane. Its like you have to step down in order to have his concerns and he needs to step up to get to yours.
I used to put more thought into changing the oil in my car than I did about living.
Your relationship is what it is.
It seems you are the nurturer and he seems to be reluctant to take that role "when needed"--- not because he can't or won't, but because he does not know how... he needs to be reassured that its NORMAL to have doubts... We all doubt. Cancer is that fog that permeates itself on everything and everyone near it.
From what I read, your relationship is more open than most people I know. That is a huge plus. He obviously cares very deeply for you !
No one has that elusive crystal ball. Letting go, getting closer, what does that all mean ? YOU ARE HUMAN ! Quality of EMOTIONAL life is as important as the physical life. If when you wake up you look forward to being with this guy, then go for it. Stay with it.
I honestly think that even if you did not have cancer, he would be stressing over some other thing. Heck- we all do.
Try to go back to the time you both met and focus on what drew you two together.
Thats my story and I'm stickin' to it!
xo
maria