HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post - It is not normally like me......BUT......

Mary Jo · 12-02-2008, 01:16 PM

Good Afternoon her2 groupies.....It is not normally like me to be a "downer" but I'm kind of feeling like that the last 2 days and needed to vent here with those who understand.

The reality of this disease hit me AGAIN (every now and then I feel reminded of how cruel this disease is - less and less as time goes on but circumstances and passing of loved ones brings it back) I've been struggling with sinus issues (or so I think) the past few months and just recently went on an antibiotic for it. I am feeling better but still have some foggy feelings in my head. The good news is that the headaches I was experiencing (waking me in the night top of head/forhead and back of head) - I haven't had since starting the antibiotics but still have some pain in lower skull area by neck and that is off and on but less since I started the antibiotic. I know my symptoms make no sense (and you KNOW where I'm heading with this 'cause we're all alike that way) but I am certain I have brain mets and it's bringing me down!

You guys know I don't live "their" and hate being negative and downcast (and nobody would know I feel this way except you) but the last few days I've been feeling blue about this cancer stuff and feeling like it's just a matter of time anyway. What a horrible attitude....I know!!! I also know I will get over it and life will go on but for today this is how I'm feeling and I needed to share it with my support system here.

I do go in for my 6 month check up on Dec. 18 and will at that time mention this all to my onc. (if the problem still exists) and then I know he will order a brain MRI and that scares the "YOU KNOW WHAT" out of me. I don't want that. Those scans etc. always bring me way down and always remind me of the world I'm living in and I hate it. On the other hand IF I have a brain MRI and hear it is all clear (oh surprise surprise there is nothing up their

) I will feel very relieved.

For now though I just needed to share my heart with you guys 'cause you all get it. I've also been praying and asking God to help me remember that my life is in His Hands and fretting over my tomorrow's is useless. As a little card I keep hanging by my computer at work says "don't worry about tomorrow...God is already their."

Thanks for "listening" you guys!!!!

Love you LOTS.

Mary Jo

12-02-2008, 01:16 PM	#1
Mary Jo Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Sheboygan, WI Posts: 2,582	It is not normally like me......BUT...... Good Afternoon her2 groupies.....It is not normally like me to be a "downer" but I'm kind of feeling like that the last 2 days and needed to vent here with those who understand. The reality of this disease hit me AGAIN (every now and then I feel reminded of how cruel this disease is - less and less as time goes on but circumstances and passing of loved ones brings it back) I've been struggling with sinus issues (or so I think) the past few months and just recently went on an antibiotic for it. I am feeling better but still have some foggy feelings in my head. The good news is that the headaches I was experiencing (waking me in the night top of head/forhead and back of head) - I haven't had since starting the antibiotics but still have some pain in lower skull area by neck and that is off and on but less since I started the antibiotic. I know my symptoms make no sense (and you KNOW where I'm heading with this 'cause we're all alike that way) but I am certain I have brain mets and it's bringing me down! You guys know I don't live "their" and hate being negative and downcast (and nobody would know I feel this way except you) but the last few days I've been feeling blue about this cancer stuff and feeling like it's just a matter of time anyway. What a horrible attitude....I know!!! I also know I will get over it and life will go on but for today this is how I'm feeling and I needed to share it with my support system here. I do go in for my 6 month check up on Dec. 18 and will at that time mention this all to my onc. (if the problem still exists) and then I know he will order a brain MRI and that scares the "YOU KNOW WHAT" out of me. I don't want that. Those scans etc. always bring me way down and always remind me of the world I'm living in and I hate it. On the other hand IF I have a brain MRI and hear it is all clear (oh surprise surprise there is nothing up their) I will feel very relieved. For now though I just needed to share my heart with you guys 'cause you all get it. I've also been praying and asking God to help me remember that my life is in His Hands and fretting over my tomorrow's is useless. As a little card I keep hanging by my computer at work says "don't worry about tomorrow...God is already their." Thanks for "listening" you guys!!!! Love you LOTS. Mary Jo __________________ "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++ RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node No Vasucular Invasion 4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin 1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks 28 rads prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06 17 Years NED <>< Romans 8:28 Last edited by Mary Jo; 12-02-2008 at 01:19 PM..