[Lien]

We've all been through that fear. And yes, it might be cancer, but it probably isn't.

As someone who's had benign lumps & cysts for 12 year before developing cancer, I've learned to rely on the doctors' "feeling". For 12 years my GP's were sure I had cysts Ultrasounds confirmed their diagnosis. I moved from one city to another, and my docs were always right. Then I developed a new lump. My new GP palpated my breast, and examined my "old" cyst. I smiled and told him that one was benign. He frowned and said: I'm not so sure. Then he examined the new, tiny lump and said that one felt like a cyst. So I went for a mammo & ultrasound. And whaddaya know? My doc was right. The old cyst had changed into DCIS and a small area of Invasive Ductal C. The new lump was B9.

There is nothing you can do until Tuesday. It's highly unlikely that a tumor would grow this fast. Your doctor knows how necrosis feels, but he can't be 100% sure, and you are freaking out (Like most of us would) so he's looking for confirmation.

When you get through this, you will be able to do something, make plans, take control. The waiting is the worst part. We've all been there. We are holding your hand, and hugging you, and telling you to take a deep breath. This too shall pass.

Sometimes it helps to visualise a safe place. Create a mental picture of your perfect house. Set it in a lovely garden, that can be just the way you want. If you want a pool? Zip! There it is. You want a ski-slope on one side and a tropical beach on the other? Just dream it up. Anything goes. Just make sure it's a place you can feel at home in. Decorate the house any way you like. Add pets, books, music, whatever. But make sure you really "see" the whole thing in your minds' eye. Now go and sit in your garden, look at the flowers, the plants or trees. Listen to the music or the sounds of birds. Just focus on this picture and relax. You are completely safe here. Nothing can happen to you. If anything or anyone unpleasant tries to approach you, you take out a special little remote control and zap them out of your life. Just like that. They can come back when and if they are nice to you. When they are helpful, pleasant and supportive.

Try it. It worked for me. As soon as someone made a silly remark (like: Why are you dwelling on having cancer? They took it out. It's gone. Get over it) I'd imagine zapping them with my little remote control. It felt wonderful.

Please let us know how it goes. These are tough days, and we are here to help you get through them.

Hugs

Jacqueline