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chrisy · 10-31-2008, 10:29 AM

Joy, you goofball, there you go again. You ride the waves from sadness to despair to joy and hope better than anyone I've ever known.

One of the more subtle, yet toxic, side effects of these treatments we do is the number it does on our minds. So even as it is saving us, giving us more time - we imagine it running out. When I was getting T/C/H every Friday, by noon Monday I would be sobbing uncontrollably.

Somehow, Joy, it can't and won't defeat your spirit. Keep working with your medical team to get better management of the side effects so you can hopefully feel a little better more of the time. Then fill up that time with the good stuff.

I also cry when people show me kindness. A friend of mine once told me that when you cry at beautiful music, or in church, that's how you know that God is there. Not all tears are bad.

Sorry, now I'm crying, too - and I'm sorry if my post is not too uplifting - my intent was not to jump in a pity pot but just to let you know I'm right beside you.

I'll start working on finding insurance that will pay for your retreats.

Much love
Chris

10-31-2008, 10:29 AM	#5
chrisy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Central Coast, CA Posts: 3,207	Joy, you goofball, there you go again. You ride the waves from sadness to despair to joy and hope better than anyone I've ever known. One of the more subtle, yet toxic, side effects of these treatments we do is the number it does on our minds. So even as it is saving us, giving us more time - we imagine it running out. When I was getting T/C/H every Friday, by noon Monday I would be sobbing uncontrollably. Somehow, Joy, it can't and won't defeat your spirit. Keep working with your medical team to get better management of the side effects so you can hopefully feel a little better more of the time. Then fill up that time with the good stuff. I also cry when people show me kindness. A friend of mine once told me that when you cry at beautiful music, or in church, that's how you know that God is there. Not all tears are bad. Sorry, now I'm crying, too - and I'm sorry if my post is not too uplifting - my intent was not to jump in a pity pot but just to let you know I'm right beside you. I'll start working on finding insurance that will pay for your retreats. Much love Chris __________________ Chris in Scotts Valley June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?" 9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++ 10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response! 04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED 04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial 06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin 01/08 Progression in liver 02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial 08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1 02/09 Continue NED 02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED 12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver 07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:( 12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:( 03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial 5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!! 8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!) 9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3 11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc 11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go. 2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go. 3/13 TACE procedure