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Andrea Barnett Budin · 10-05-2008, 01:30 PM

My Pink One,

I never was one of those people, but I surely saw the world anew as a result of death by cancer scare, my loss of a breast, my chemo experience and all...

I have felt that "OTHERS HAVE NO IDEA* as a result of childhood traumas, major crises in my life. I think we have all felt that at times. It is a natural human thought, which never seems to fail to surprise. But as it does, I believe it edifies! We become softer, gentler, kinder, more compassionate and empathetic, more giving and understanding, wiser and more than we were before!

Those who haven't experienced *canser* often say they don't want to call friends who have been diagnosed. They don't know what to say. They avoid them in supermarket aisles. Hiding. Ill equipped to ease the pain of another they once called Friend.

I tell them that it always seemed to comfort me when people told me, I can't stop thinking about you. I am so sorry you have to go through what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I think about you every day.

When I try to comfort friends who have lost a spouse or still worse, a child, a grandchild, I cannot say I understand how you must feel. THANK GOD!!! But I want you to know I grieve with you. My heart aches for you. I love you. I care. I believe the one who has passed on (to the Spiritual Realm) still exists. Death is not the end of the story. And your Loved One is surely at peace. Watching over you. Wanting you to live your life with even greater passion and enthusiasm.

And Pinkie, I surely hope your horrid flu of 2 wks soon passes. I am proud of you for nursing yourself all along. Drinking lots of fluids, OJ, taking lots of C and zinc, etc., etc., etc. I know how distasteful all that is to you, but I am elated that you are doing all within your power to get back to Life!

Everyone of us is fighting a battle. Many silently. Yet it is a reality we should try to remember (especially when someone is acting like a jerk). I am NOT referring to anyone specifically. Just a general realization I have come to Know...

Love to all.

Andi

10-05-2008, 01:30 PM	#23
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	We Each Have The Right To Feel As We Feel... My Pink One, I never was one of those people, but I surely saw the world anew as a result of death by cancer scare, my loss of a breast, my chemo experience and all... I have felt that "OTHERS HAVE NO IDEA* as a result of childhood traumas, major crises in my life. I think we have all felt that at times. It is a natural human thought, which never seems to fail to surprise. But as it does, I believe it edifies! We become softer, gentler, kinder, more compassionate and empathetic, more giving and understanding, wiser and more than we were before! Those who haven't experienced canser often say they don't want to call friends who have been diagnosed. They don't know what to say. They avoid them in supermarket aisles. Hiding. Ill equipped to ease the pain of another they once called Friend. I tell them that it always seemed to comfort me when people told me, I can't stop thinking about you. I am so sorry you have to go through what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. I think about you every day. When I try to comfort friends who have lost a spouse or still worse, a child, a grandchild, I cannot say I understand how you must feel. THANK GOD!!! But I want you to know I grieve with you. My heart aches for you. I love you. I care. I believe the one who has passed on (to the Spiritual Realm) still exists. Death is not the end of the story. And your Loved One is surely at peace. Watching over you. Wanting you to live your life with even greater passion and enthusiasm. And Pinkie, I surely hope your horrid flu of 2 wks soon passes. I am proud of you for nursing yourself all along. Drinking lots of fluids, OJ, taking lots of C and zinc, etc., etc., etc. I know how distasteful all that is to you, but I am elated that you are doing all within your power to get back to Life! Everyone of us is fighting a battle. Many silently. Yet it is a reality we should try to remember (especially when someone is acting like a jerk). I am NOT referring to anyone specifically. Just a general realization I have come to Know... Love to all. Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...