[Mary Jo]

Hi Carol,

Yes, there is way more to a cancer diagnosis that the physical "stuff" we go through. Actually, that is the easiest part of the disease .... doing something about it. Not the easiest on you but the easiest part to live with - in my opinion. The emotional side of the disease is the part that never leaves you. Even though a person may have NED status there is no such thing as "no emotional scars." There are many and they run deep. We all know that.

I am currently a 3 year survivor of this disease and each year it becomes easier to live with my diagnosis. Of course, it is easier for me because I did not have a recurrence. Having a recurrence has to really be a blow and must really be difficult to deal with. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop but am finding that even that is getting better. I am trusting my body once again but more importantly trusting the One who has my life in His Hands. Even if a recurrence is in my future I know that I will and can handle it. A few years ago though I wouldn't have been able to say that. No way. The dealing with these emotional scars has brought me face to face with my mortality and to a closer walk with my Lord. That's how I know I am in a better place than I was 3 years ago. I know that all of us will be leaving this earth one day and there is no age guarantee. But you know what, even if there was an age guarantee, it would still be hard on us and our loved ones - so better not to know and to live the life we've been given to the fullest each day.

This is what I've learned since my cancer diagnosis. This is how my emotional life has been affected and trust me IT WAS AFFECTED. I went through a rough period where I was petrified almost everyday. Through much prayer I've learned that I cannot live my life that way. I was wasting each day I was given. "Life" happens to all of us.....we all go through something.....whether it be an illness or crisis in the family....job loss....financial ruin......whatever.......life is hard and definitely not perfect for anyone. I totally "get" now that life is short for everyone. Whether I ever have a cancer recurrence or not I am going to die. It's that simple (to me) - it helps me - it shows me that my life isn't in my Hands and honestly, that helps me as I live my life.

I've learned that whatever comes my way from this day forward I can handle. I can and I must. And, when it's all over, I will go Home to the place where there is eternal peace and joy. That's what keeps me going....that's how I stay focused on what's important....and that's how I handle the tough stuff in life.

Love and Peace I pray for us all....

Mary Jo