[Andrea Barnett Budin]

At dinner with 3 other couples last night, this discussion came up. All the above were mentioned. Especially that if he were indeed the Dem Pres candidate, this revelation would surely screw the Dems, and the nation!

My point here is a bit different. REPORTERS KEEP MENTIONING THAT ELIZABETH (who we know has metastatic bc at this point) HAS *INOPERABLE*, *INCURABLE* CANCER. Those at my table were commenting that she is not long for this world, that she is terminally ill.

Each reporter states repeatedly that Elizabeth has an incurable form of cancer and each time it riles me.

I was told in '98 (when my bc spread throughout my liver) that what I had was inoperable, incurable and that I would be on long term chemotherapy for the rest of my life. At first I thought I was a walking corpse. Sure to die. I read the statistics. They were poor. I did rally however and decided that someone had to be in that tiny group of Survivors and I intended fully, with every ounce of determination to concentrate and call up strength and courage I had never really thought I had in such abundance.

So, I am thinking that our society is perpetuating our fear of THE BIG C, which they often whisper and will not name aloud, as they cower over the very thought of standing up to cancer.

At the dinner table last night I had to insert that perhaps Elizabeth is no more terminally ill than I am, or was. Inoperable and incurable are scary words to be sure. But my oncs told me that even if they did operate on all my many tumors, my body would be weakened and I would still have to undergo chemotherapy. Better to be strong in facing that. And as for incurable -- cancer is not curable. But it is capable of being managed, with any number of weapons the medical/scientific world has in their arsenal. The cure is coming. For now, cancer is a chronic condition that has flare ups, can be tracked vigilantly, tamped down and controlled.

My favorite mantra is I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. And, I plan on living forever or die trying. Every day I break my own record for # of days staying alive. I do not forfeit a single day to bemoaning my sorry lot. I embrace the gift of each day and stay PRESENT as best I can. Connected to my Spirit, which is who I truly am. A Soul -- with a mind (a voice of its own that needs constant disciplining) and a body. *I* am the AWARENESS behind and beyond the taunting and tormenting thoughts that race around in my head.

BTW, I read that on September 5 the three major networks are airing a show about STANDING UP^ 2 CA... I have it marked on my calendar.

With Love and Light,
Andi