[chrisy]

Ok, so we now know that your mom is getting some "support" for her bones - that is good!

My recommendation (besides not forgetting to breathe, as Marie says) is to make a list of questions for the oncologist - because YES, you do need to get your answers there, not from your dad or for that matter, anyone else who may not really know what they're talking about.

Write down your questions so you don't forget them. There may be many treatment options that can help your mom live well for quite some time. You've seen here on this thread that this can be true. Once you know, really know, the situation you may feel more in control.

As for getting your emotions under control, we all can certainly relate to that in one way or another. When I was diagnosed stage IV, my husband was devastated and I cried all the way home from work every day THINKING about how hard this was on him. I think it's harder for those who love us, because to a certain extent there is a helpless feeling.

He asked my oncologist how can people live with this (not the disease, but the emotions). Her answer was "well, you just do" At the time it was hard to believe but it turned out to be true.

Not to say it is easy or that there aren't times when we get overwhelmed, but we do what we have to do. Sometimes that includes what I call cultivating a healthy sense of denial - and a determination to not let cancer take all the life out of life while we're still LIVING. You can still bring love and joy to your mom no matter what the circumstances.

Don't ever feel bad about "taking up space" here - that's why we're all here, to hug you and love you and help however we can.

Chris