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Hi Vicky,
During the years we have picked ourselves up from time to time with the reserves of the energy of our youth. We might not always look a whole lot older after treatment, but our bodies are. We've worked hard through the years in the belief that if we "did our part" at some point we would be able to take it a little easier. We put energy into all that it takes to "get through treatment", believing that we wouldn't be all that different afterward, and promising ourselves that once we did that, life would get easier. I think it is some of these promises we made ourselves that are broken. After all that we did, life didn't get easier, it got HARDER.
What happens then? We are sitting so close to the big picture that it is too big to take it all in and make sense out of it or figure out what to do about it. There are so many things wrong with the picture that need fixing that after a while those are the only things we can see. It gets harder and harder to pick out where to start.
Pick out something in that big picture that you know you can do something about. You might have to start with the smallest thing in the picture. Then turn your back on the big picture until you've finished that one thing. When you turn around, look at the picture for one good thing in it no matter how small, and tell yourself why you like it so much. Then pick something else out that you think you might be able to try to fix. There are some things that may never be fixed -- and there are things that look worse when they are all piled together than they do one at a time.
It is normal to get stuck and lose perspective.
Hugs,
AlaskaAngel
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