[danceswithrain]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Everyday I say just get thru today and tommorrow will be better. But after 9 months of this I'm worn out. The hallway between here and there is getting awful long. I've always had dreams and goals and somewhere along the way I lost those. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be living much less what I'm suppose to be doing. I just want to be thru this time.
I will contact the dr. Monday to try and up my meds. I think the cancer combined with all the other things going on in my life have just overwhelmed me.
I think my family is like 'cancer's over what's the problem'. It was so bad with my mom I can't even speak to her anymore. As I have tried to remove myself from anyone who drags me down further. My husband has been very understanding but he lives 4000 miles away and until the issue with my stepson is resolved I can't go home. Bought this house here in AZ a year and half ago to start a new life on my own, got a small business loan to start my company and a month later the cancer hit. Now I have a large mortgage, big business loan that I had to use to live on during chemo and was told I couldn't do my business because of the heavy lifting it required. So went to work right after surgery as a project scheduler/estimator for a construction company. Office compared to field work. Now laid off due to economy.
So that's why I say my life has been turned upside down in the space of 2 years.
Would someone look on my back? Is there a sign?