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Old 07-01-2008, 11:17 AM   #18
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Wink Becoming A Miracle

Beside my computer, where I basically seem to live (especially lately as I work on my book) I keep these words. They are typed and sit on an easel. When I am distracted and disturbed by others that have pushed my buttons or simply by Life happening -- in ways that are not according to My Plan -- I read and reread these words.

MIDST ANGER AND STRIFE --
MY DECLARATION FOR PEACE:

I LIVE WITH AN OPEN HEART AND MIND --
IN ORDER TO BLOSSOM.
TO BLOSSOM, YOU MUST OPEN. AND UNFOLD.
I WISH MUCH FOR OTHERS AND FOR MYSELF,
KNOWING EXPANDED CONSCIOUSNESS
ENRICHES OUR LIVES IN REMARABLE WAYS.
I CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO REMAIN
FULL OF UNCONDITIONAL PURE RADIANT LOVE.
TRANQUILITY AND COMPASSION
SEEM TO NATURALLY FOLLOW.
WHENEVER I LOOK AT ANOTHER SOUL,
I TRY TO FEEL OUR ONENESS.
I SEEK TO RECOGNIZE MYSELF IN THEM.
I STRIVE TO SPEAK FROM MY SPIRIT,
INSISTING THIS SACRED ENTITY TAKE CONTROL
OVER THE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!
I KNOW MY SPIRIT IS MY TRUEST SELF.
THAT IT IS THE MOST PRECIOUS PART OF WHO I AM.
I ALIGN MYSELF WITH MY SOUL
AND IDENTIFY MYSELF AS A SOUL --
TRANSFORMING MY WORLD.
AND TOUCHING EVERYONE I ENCOUNTER...

MY REASON FOR BEING,
ACCORDING TO MY CONTRACT WITH THE UNIVERSE,
IS TO SHARE LIFE-ALTERING LESSONS
WITH ALL OF HUMANITY.
TO BE HUMAN AND HUMANE -- AND FAR MORE.
TO BE PRESENT AND TO EMBRACE MY BEINGNESS,
WHICH IS FULL OF
THE DIVINE ENERGY OF MY SOURCE.

I AWAKE EACH DAY FULL OF GRATITUDE.
BEFORE MY EYES OPEN, I SAY ALOUD:
THANK FOR THE GIFT OF THIS DAY!
AND FOR THE AWAKENING TO SEE THAT I AM A SOUL,
WITH A MIND AND A BODY.
THAT I AM NOT THE THINKER IN MY HEAD
BUT RATHER
THE *AWARENESS* OF THAT PART OF ME.
THIS LIFTS ME UP, OUT OF BED,
OUT OF BEING *UNDEAD* -- INTO FEELING
MORE ALIVE THAN EVER BEFORE.
I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL MY MANY BLESSINGS.
I SEE THE SUBLIME IN THE ORDINARY.
THE ENORMITY OF THE LITTLE THINGS.
THE BEAUTY AND LOVE THAT SURROUNDS US.
I FEEL THE UNENDING LOVE THAT ENVELOPS ME.
I AM NEVER ALONE.
MY SPIRIT LEADS ME.
WE ARE EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE, EVEN THOUGH WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY.
I FEEL RADIANT, JOYFUL, HARMONIOUS AND HEALTHY.
FOR THESE GIFTS I OFFER MY ETERNAL GRATITUDE.

I KNOW THAT ONE WAY TO STAY WELL IS TO FEED
POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES
TO MY MIND, EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY.
WHAT WE THINK ALL DAY BECOMES OUR FATE.
AND IT DETERMINES HOW WE WILL FEEL.
MY MIND OVERHEARS EVERYTHING I THINK
AND WHISPER.

I MUST PASSIONATELY REFUSE TO GIVE POWER AWAY
TO ANY FEAR-RIDDLED THOUGHTS,
TO THE ANGER OF ANY PERSON
OR HARDSHIPS WITHIN UNWANTED CIRCUMSTANCES.
THE BRAVEST ARE THOSE WHO HAVE
THE CLEAREST VISION
OF WHAT IS BEFORE THEM...AND YET...
GO OUT TO MEET IT.
YOU MUST DO THE THING
YOU THINK YOU CANNOT DO.
YOU MUST CONTINUALLY REMIND YOURSELF
TO WELCOME THE RAIN,
THOUGH YOU SO LOVE THE SUN.
THE RAIN IS NECESSARY,
TO WASH AWAY THE GRIME AND ALL NEGATIVITY.

I CHOOSE TO HAVE IT REMIND ME OF MY POWERS
TO CALL MY DESIRED DESTINY TO ME.
I HUMBLY APPRECIATE THE AWESOME GIFTS OF
MY PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT
AND ETERNITY GRANTED ME.

WE ARE EACH ONE STEP AWAY
FROM BECOMING A MIRACLE.
EVERY THOUGHT IS LIKE A PRAYER.
EVERY PRAYER IS A POTENTIAL MIRACLE.
WHEN I CONSCIOUSY CONNECT WITH MY ESSENCE
WHICH IS AT MY VERY CORE --
I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE.
AND ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE...


Andi
__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...

Last edited by Andrea Barnett Budin; 07-02-2008 at 10:18 AM..
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