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Hopeful200,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my own mother April 5, and I understand what you are going through. As others have said in this thread, you can't beat yourself up, and obsess over the "what if's" - we can't go back and rewrite time, and it is not helpful to dwell on it. Instead, focus on all the extraordinary things you did for her. You were a tremendous source of support to her, and I am certain she did not pass blaming you for not doing more - she was probably more grateful to you than you can know for all the love and care you showed her. Now is the time for you to be good to yourself, to work through the greiving process and come out stronger on the other side. It is ok to be angry at the disease, but please, don't be angry at yourself. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Hopeful
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