[chrisy]

That people are just ignorant and clueless! Now I can add scared, too. People don't know what to say. But they feel like they should say something and end up saying something COMPLETELY wrong.

I've had my share of people saying really stupid things - often they are really good friends who I know love me and are just trying to be kind.

My top 3 favorites:
(3) From a newly diagnosed acquaintance: "Well, I'm going to be very aggressive with my treatments because I don't want to end up like you" (with mets!)
(2) A really good friend sent me a beautiful flower arrangement upon hearing of my recurrence. The card with the flowers said "with sympathy"! That one made me laugh, and I had to tell him that usually the sympathy cards are for AFTER you're dead!

And still holding the #1 spot on the stupid things people say wall of shame....TA DAAAA..

"I was trying to put myself in your shoes and how I would feel. You know, I've always wanted to die first (before my husband), too!"

This last one was a very very dear friend and although I knew she was trying to speak out of love, I just hung up the phone and was shaking and crying as I told my hubby what she had just said! BTW, she and her husband (both still living!) are STILL very dear friends...

In fact, that last one I told to my business/personal networking group which is like my extended family. They were so upset when I told them my cancer had recurred, but then were also afraid THEY might say something stupid! So we made a deal: I told them that I knew they loved me, and if they ever unwittingly said something wrong, I would just say to them "I know you meant that out of love" and then we would laugh together.

People really are good, they're actually God's best things. But sometimes we're just dumb!