[madubois63]

Kelli - You are more than enough allowed to weep. One thing I found that really helped me was to go to to the beach (I live on Long Island, but you can go to a state park, the middle of the woods, a desert, whatever...) and scream in to the wind. Don't care what anyone else thinks. This is your pain and you need to deal with it and get over it. Remember pain is just a thing to deal with. Do not let it take you over!! If you need to discuss something for your nerves (ex: ativan) or something a little more long term (zoloft or something similar) Do not ignore this. Your body and mind are going through a lot of changes and sometimes a little boost can really help. After fighting for my life, I felt like killing myself?? I didn't understand it, but the drastic hormonal changes were making me suicidal. After 2 weeks on Zoloft, I was me again and I wasn't crying at everything.

The haircut was a good thing. I like Chris think getting a few "fun" wigs are a good thing. Call American Cancer society to see where the closest and next meeting of "Look Good Feel Better" is. They teach you things you need to know about skin, nail, scalp, and wig car. They give free wigs and you gt to go home with a big box of free makeup (Mary Kay, Avon, Clinique, Revlon...). If you've had a relapse, you can go again. Check out "HeavenlyHats" on the internet. They will send you a free box of hats and scarves. It' all new stuff and some of it is designer and it's fun to get a surprise in the mail!! I personally liked wearing "newsie" type hats, and you can put pins in the brim of the hat. You can get them at Target or Walmart pretty inexpensively. When wearing your wig, do NOT go anywhere near a hot oven or a bbq. I melted my bangs making fries for the kids.

Try to remember that loosing you hair is showing that the chemo is working. Oh, also stay away for swarms of mosquitos. Whenthey get in the wig, it can be awful (yes this did happen to me). Always keep and extra kerchief in the car of you pocketbook.

When you know for sure what chemo's you will be taking, let us know. If you are taking Adriomycin, bring a frozen drink with you. while they are injecting the stuff, drink the smoothie. Keeping your mouth frozen will help keep you from getting mouth sores. No matter what what chemo you get, drink LOTS of water!!!! Add crystal light if you have to, but get a lot of water. It really helps, That's all for now, Good luck and keep asking questions, venting and fighting!!!