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Andrea Barnett Budin · 03-16-2008, 01:17 PM

The ego thing. It's all about your ego vs your Spirit, I finally learned. One defeats you and the other lifts you up. So it's real important to able to identify when ego is moving in to try and take charge...

WHEN MY EGO SPEAKS, I must REMEMBER – IT’S FULL OF ITSELF! Like when I'm busy opposing reality (RESISTING) or being inundated with thoughts that tend to engulf me in misery and despair, I'm likely being tormented by my ego! That the root cause. It just delights in telling me that I am being threatened and often scares me to tears. Then, I consequently find myself unconsciously identifying myself as “the victim”. I feel exquisitely vulnerable. Helpless and powerless. Now (most days) I can see -- THAT’S MY EGO TALKING!

Neurotic, obsessive, sad, fearful, angry, frustrated, resentful, blaming, remorseful, judgmental, unforgiving reactions are egoic by nature. You’ll never do this, warns my ego. Then it throws in the clincher -- WHAT IF..........!!!??? So, naturally, I become beyond feeling unsure of myself. I feel alone. Isolated. DISCONNECTED. Like Something is missing. BECAUSE I AM DISCONNECTED FROM -- MY TRUE SELF! Such awful moments reflect my forgetting who I am. I'm misidentifying myself. I am deriving my sense of Self from just my mind and my form. I AM OUT OF TOUCH WITH MY SPIRIT, at my core.

I have learned -- YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND! That fear and self-pity are egoic. Ego driven thoughts can easily fool you into allowing it to rule and ruin your life. Intellectually I know I am not my emotions. That my thoughts create how I feel and that I have the Power to sculpt my thoughts. And, I happen to believe that we each have the Power to call our desired DESTINY to us, with the power of our thoughts. Every thought is like a prayer. Every prayer is a potential miracle.

Ego subdues your self-confidence and dispirits your power!! It dis-empowers you! However, when your Inner Voice, or Spirit, is allowed to take over and lead you -- you leave your basest Self (your Id) and your egoic phase of being, and move toward becoming your Higher Self, the Self that Dwells Within. Andi

03-16-2008, 01:17 PM	#47
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Ego Versus Spirit The ego thing. It's all about your ego vs your Spirit, I finally learned. One defeats you and the other lifts you up. So it's real important to able to identify when ego is moving in to try and take charge... WHEN MY EGO SPEAKS, I must REMEMBER – IT’S FULL OF ITSELF! Like when I'm busy opposing reality (RESISTING) or being inundated with thoughts that tend to engulf me in misery and despair, I'm likely being tormented by my ego! That the root cause. It just delights in telling me that I am being threatened and often scares me to tears. Then, I consequently find myself unconsciously identifying myself as “the victim”. I feel exquisitely vulnerable. Helpless and powerless. Now (most days) I can see -- THAT’S MY EGO TALKING! Neurotic, obsessive, sad, fearful, angry, frustrated, resentful, blaming, remorseful, judgmental, unforgiving reactions are egoic by nature. You’ll never do this, warns my ego. Then it throws in the clincher -- WHAT IF..........!!!??? So, naturally, I become beyond feeling unsure of myself. I feel alone. Isolated. DISCONNECTED. Like Something is missing. BECAUSE I AM DISCONNECTED FROM -- MY TRUE SELF! Such awful moments reflect my forgetting who I am. I'm misidentifying myself. I am deriving my sense of Self from just my mind and my form. I AM OUT OF TOUCH WITH MY SPIRIT, at my core. I have learned -- YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND! That fear and self-pity are egoic. Ego driven thoughts can easily fool you into allowing it to rule and ruin your life. Intellectually I know I am not my emotions. That my thoughts create how I feel and that I have the Power to sculpt my thoughts. And, I happen to believe that we each have the Power to call our desired DESTINY to us, with the power of our thoughts. Every thought is like a prayer. Every prayer is a potential miracle. Ego subdues your self-confidence and dispirits your power!! It dis-empowers you! However, when your Inner Voice, or Spirit, is allowed to take over and lead you -- you leave your basest Self (your Id) and your egoic phase of being, and move toward becoming your Higher Self, the Self that Dwells Within. Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...