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Andrea Barnett Budin · 03-12-2008, 06:36 PM

There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

I agree w/this philosophy. Happiness is what you consciously choose to carry with you, to each experience all you encounter.

However the other day, while confronting a computer crisis -- I lost it. I obsessed and whimpered. I asked for help. To no avail. I poked and prodded and repeated and repeated and repeated what Microsoft Word suggested I do.

Today, I can remember once reading that Thomas Edison tried over 1,000 times to invent the light bulb. Can you begin to imagine his exasperation?! Not even close. But I love his quote. I DID NOT FAIL! RATHER I FOUND 0VER 1,000 WAYS HOW NOT TO INVENT THE LIGHT BULB. (Humor is a great diffuser, don't you think?)

The other day, I lost my perspective. I was so busy trying to get all my ducks in a row I forgot to BREATHE. At the end of the day, I was victorious. My font issue was resolved. And, at my dghtrs behest, which came a tad late, I let go. It is quite the challenge to LET IT GO, but that is often precisely what we must do, I think.

I let my ducks swim away. Of course I envisioned them swimming away in a neat row. As ducks do. Yet my DD said she imagined they were swimming away *in chaotic circles...against my suffocating will*. Hmmm... Humor? Okay, I am willing to laugh at myself. Now...

Usually this child listens to my suffering diatribe, pauses, sighs and sweetly reminds me that I am *disconnected from my spirituality*. And, almost instantly, I begin to heal. I reconnect with my Spirit, my Higher Self, and feel wisdom and serenity streaming toward me. It's my divine connection.

I believe we are here to learn to find the supreme energy of the divinity within us... At our core. I believe my Soul is the Essence of me. On most days, that is... And when I allow it to rule (rather than my EGO) I find happiness.
Andi

03-12-2008, 06:36 PM	#45
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	I Think Of You All, All The Time... Honest To God... There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. I agree w/this philosophy. Happiness is what you consciously choose to carry with you, to each experience all you encounter. However the other day, while confronting a computer crisis -- I lost it. I obsessed and whimpered. I asked for help. To no avail. I poked and prodded and repeated and repeated and repeated what Microsoft Word suggested I do. Today, I can remember once reading that Thomas Edison tried over 1,000 times to invent the light bulb. Can you begin to imagine his exasperation?! Not even close. But I love his quote. I DID NOT FAIL! RATHER I FOUND 0VER 1,000 WAYS HOW NOT TO INVENT THE LIGHT BULB. (Humor is a great diffuser, don't you think?) The other day, I lost my perspective. I was so busy trying to get all my ducks in a row I forgot to BREATHE. At the end of the day, I was victorious. My font issue was resolved. And, at my dghtrs behest, which came a tad late, I let go. It is quite the challenge to LET IT GO, but that is often precisely what we must do, I think. I let my ducks swim away. Of course I envisioned them swimming away in a neat row. As ducks do. Yet my DD said she imagined they were swimming away in chaotic circles...against my suffocating will. Hmmm... Humor? Okay, I am willing to laugh at myself. Now... Usually this child listens to my suffering diatribe, pauses, sighs and sweetly reminds me that I am disconnected from my spirituality. And, almost instantly, I begin to heal. I reconnect with my Spirit, my Higher Self, and feel wisdom and serenity streaming toward me. It's my divine connection. I believe we are here to learn to find the supreme energy of the divinity within us... At our core. I believe my Soul is the Essence of me. On most days, that is... And when I allow it to rule (rather than my EGO) I find happiness. Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...