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Sherry,
I'm so sorry you're going this ordeal. You and your brother need a lot of support now and your mother sounds like she's very angry at both of you for having the audacity to be ill. As someone else stated, she's probably very frightened about losing her children.
Keep in mind that even adults, including " seniors" need to have boundaries and limits set for them if necessary and it certainly sounds that way with your situation. Perhaps you and your brother need to talk about what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate. Your mother is being emotionally and psychologically abusive to both of you, which is having a negative physical impact on your health.
If she is a controlling person, she probably feels helpless and copes by acting out in her various ways.
I also think a geri- specialist consult would be a great idea.
Do what you need to do re: limit setting.
Good luck with all you're dealing with.
Carol
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