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Old 02-24-2008, 01:15 PM   #19
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Wink IT ISN'T EASY BEING ME... Can you relate?

I'm just hoping more of us will come forward and share their ways of dealing with bc *psychologically*. We can all benefit from learning about the differing experiences we have each had. This thread seems to be a nice, comfy place to come and -- GIVE BACK. If you are surviving and thriving, or if you are struggling to keep strong, won't you please talk about it?!

I find that as I talk, and vent, even whine, I am hearing my own words and they are healing in and of themselves. Posting, writing, speaking out is highly therapeutic. It is so cathartic for us, and so very helpful to others who are grappling with this chronic disease, seeking a new normal.

We all know, even those who have been blessed to be NED for a bit, that once you have been dx w/bc, you must regroup and forge onward and upward with each hour of each day. Every day. It's a lifetime commitment to living w/as much joy and peace of mind as we possibly can. It's a full-time job. It's a mission. And I guess it is an art. Won't you contribute to helping us all find our path? What *you* have discovered, how *you* address issues, can lead another to getting a grip on living w/bc. You have much to offer to this group. Even if you are a Loved One of someone w/bc! Look at Marie. And Bill. Their input is inspiring and invaluable! We are each fighting our own battles. We each feel -- IT ISN'T EASY BEING *ME*. We are each vulnerable. But we face each day with as much courage and grace as we can muster, as our Spirits so wisely urge us to do... Don't you think?
Andi

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Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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