[Believe51]

Thank You Sweet Friend for having the courage to put aside everything and be brave enough to voice your heart and soul so much once again. It has been a long time since you have been 'Naked' and I have so missed your posts. I feel that this post was my invitation to be brave and expose myself like I used to. It has been a long time since I too have been naked but for reasons that can only be described as I am feeling 'fragile' lately. I agree with Joe when he talks about the changes on the board, as I am sure all others have felt too. Here is to changing things for the best so that we can get back to the normalcy we had at once had here. After all, this is our sanctuary, our family. Everyone always expresses how they need this site, how they cannot live without it, they thank Joe and Christine. I do believe we can all get along. I hope I have not ever or never will offend nor belittle anyone here, for I love you all!!

Through our journey since 9/2006, credit must be given to many many aspects of his well-being. Prayer and religion are important but I have always been a person whom believes that we can aid ourselves in what we ask him for. I believe we have the power to change things that God could never help us with. I know this journey goes well beyond just religion and lighting my candles. Well beyond proper nutrition. I believe that a combination of things helps to get Ed to where he is today. I listen to all of you and grab what I can take with us to ease this journey for Mighty Oak. I leave what I cannot use. I never judge anyone and I can only hope that I never get judged.

I love hearing your journies, I have learned so much about humanity, courage, strength, heroism, etc. But that is the result of the journey. What helped us to make it thus far?? I view cancer as the circle I have mentioned before. This circle starts at diagnosis and ends at giving back to others, atleast for us. I am a firm believer that we have some sort of control over what is happening to us, even cancer aside, life in general. Now he has no control over getting the cancer, but he does have the control to make this cancer journey more pleasant, more promising. Cancer stole life from us and in order to have quality of life, we must replenish some of what it stole. Coming here was a great example of revitalizing part of our lives. We will never be the same but I have done 'cleaning' and replaced parts of my life with our NEW NEEDS.

On a previous post I mentioned that I gave up my grandmother. My entire life I have begged to be loved and hugged, to be accepted by her, to be special somewhat. In the time that I need her the most she has failed me terribly, she has failed Ed. She is so selfish that I get really nauseated thinking about my past. She even told an aunt that she will not call my mother to see how she is because she did not go to see her when she was in the hospital in August (my BC Mom is my handicapped Daddy's caregiver). She told her that: "I do not care that she has cancer, she visits Ed every night and does not come to me. I do not care that he is sick either. I do not care!!". She has no place here anymore. Rather than keep something so negative in our lives I have decided to keep her in the capacity of an acquaintance, cancer has that spot now, by no choice of our own. Life is better for since then though.

Our circle and what has helped us through crisis is just this......

Great Medical Team~Caring Caregivers~Support Team~Exploring Options~Response To Treatment~Organ Health In Treatment~Nutrition & Diet~Supplements~Relaxation Techniques~Meditation~Massage~Skin Care~Visualization~Proper Sleep Patterns~Religion & Prayer~Positive Thinking~Witnessing Examples~Search For Normalcy~Laughter Each Day~Small Daily Goals~Large Weekly Goals~Patience~Reunion of Hobbies~Daily Candles; one for Ed, one for friends, one for Angels~Believing In Miracles~BELIEVING & DEMANDING For Ours~Volenteering~Giving Back To Others.

This is our way of dealing with this new life. Through these tools we have found our peace. The positive thinking and soul searching are powers we have always strived for, we just fine-tuned ourselves. Our life is complete, we feel like better, stronger people. We are empowered and we do have control over many aspects in the chapters of the story we call our life. It is a good life, simple and pure, enriched with power and peace. We hear the music. We see the colors. We smell the roses. We feel the power. We touch your hearts. Now what can be better than that??

With this post I hope you too can take what you need, leave what you do not. We count on hearing how everyone has encountered their journies since it has helped us on ours. We all are different and thankfully so since I take and leave things too. By doing that, we are complete!!

Andi, thanks for the invitation whether you are aware of it or not. You have broke the ice, the silence here. Good thing too because sping is coming right 'round the corner..(Bill that one is for you Sweetheart, I love you) It is a perfect opportunity for me to beg you all to come back to us. I miss the way we were. I shall leave it at that.

I LOVE YOU ALL>>Positive thoughts>>Believe51