[MJo]

I thought I would get through the cancer experience ok. Was very positive before and after surgery. The chemo talk by the oncology nurse at the cancer center sent me into a downward mental spiral. Maybe I finally realized that I had cancer. I needed a lot of help for a few months -- I saw the cancer center psychologist weekly and started on daily antidepressants and anti anxiety med as needed. Other services were available to me -- yoga, meditation, support group -- but my anxiety was so high, I got no benefit. Getting very sick from A/C didn't help. By the time my taxol and herceptin treatments started, I was much better. Now I'm in reasonably good shape, but I still take antidepressants and go to a breastcancer survivor group twice a month at the Wellness Center. A clinical social worker facilitates the group. Many days I'm as positive as Lance Armstrong, but I also days when I am very afraid. We each have cancer in a unique way, and I think each of us copes in our own way. We have to find the combination of things that get us through. My oncologist, believe it or not, told me to eat as much ice cream as I wanted. Whatever gets you through this, he said. He knew what I needed! lol