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Andrea Barnett Budin · 01-07-2008, 02:26 PM

I AM SO DEEPLY MOVED BY YOU, Havah and Dede,

I want to tell you that I was orig dx in '95 w/stage IV invasive *lobular* (not good) carcinoma. 2 out of 21 nodes and a 9cm tumor. I had a mastec and tram flap reconst. 4 Adria. 8 CMF.

In Aug of '98 I metastacized throughout my liver. It was then discovered that I was HER2+ 80%, ER/PR-. I was given less than a 15% chance of survival. I truly thought I was going to die. I was blown away. 9 mnths of Taxotere (w/Shingles in between and denied chemo! for 10 days) -- I hurried getting rid of that hideous virus, knowing I had NO time to lose!

I felt motivated to fight w/all I had. I took Valdex per doc (for Shingles) + supplements per my nutritional oncologist. My beloved nut/onc has had me on a regimen since Oct of '98. He has all systems going. Boosting my immune sys to deal w/it all. Supplements to: Detoxify my liver, neutralize free radicals, protect cells from damage, prevent cell proliferation, energize, get my heart healthy along w/my gums, decrease tumor burden, inhibit metastases and more!

I have been on Herceptin since Nov of '98, now going into my 10th yr! I fed my Spirit words that developed into mental mantras, full of passion and determination. I made my clear, focused Intention and Expectation known to my body and to the Universe.

I do believe that mastering our fears is among the hardest thing a human being can be called upon to do. But the payoff is awesome! FEAR AND FAITH CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE. So eradicating my worst case scenarios and barring them from renting space in my head, allowed BELIEF and CERTAINTY to prevail.

I live one day at a time, w/a definitive view of myself far into the future. I live AS IF. As if my desired goal is a done deal. This frees me to live with joy and serenity. Can you see it in my face? People tell me they can. I feel radiant. And I know that is the True Me, my Spirit, that is beaming out from my core.

"IMPOSSIBLE IS JUST A BIG WORD THROWN AROUND BY SMALL MEN WHO FIND IT EASIER TO LIVE IN THE WORLD THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN, THAN TO EXPLORE THE POWER THEY HAVE TO CHANGE IT." EXPLORE YOUR POWER, MY SISTERS. I SAY THIS WITH A HEART FULL OF LOVE FOR YOU AND YOUR STRUGGLE. I KNOW WELL HOW DAUNTING THE TASK AT HAND IS. BUT IT IS DOABLE!

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A FACT. IT'S AN OPINION. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A DECLARATION. IT'S A DARE. IMPOSSIBLE IS POTENTIAL. IMPOSSIBLE IS TEMPORARY. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING." David Beckham

Success comes to those who refuse to accept anything less, w/every fiber of their being. Stomping on impossible. Defying statistics. Seeing their victory w/each hr of ea day. KNOWING it will come, w/a faith that is irrepressible... Resolve to be one of Life's victors! And make it happen my fellow Warriors.
Sending healing energy always, Andi

01-07-2008, 02:26 PM	#19
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	As If... I AM SO DEEPLY MOVED BY YOU, Havah and Dede, I want to tell you that I was orig dx in '95 w/stage IV invasive lobular (not good) carcinoma. 2 out of 21 nodes and a 9cm tumor. I had a mastec and tram flap reconst. 4 Adria. 8 CMF. In Aug of '98 I metastacized throughout my liver. It was then discovered that I was HER2+ 80%, ER/PR-. I was given less than a 15% chance of survival. I truly thought I was going to die. I was blown away. 9 mnths of Taxotere (w/Shingles in between and denied chemo! for 10 days) -- I hurried getting rid of that hideous virus, knowing I had NO time to lose! I felt motivated to fight w/all I had. I took Valdex per doc (for Shingles) + supplements per my nutritional oncologist. My beloved nut/onc has had me on a regimen since Oct of '98. He has all systems going. Boosting my immune sys to deal w/it all. Supplements to: Detoxify my liver, neutralize free radicals, protect cells from damage, prevent cell proliferation, energize, get my heart healthy along w/my gums, decrease tumor burden, inhibit metastases and more! I have been on Herceptin since Nov of '98, now going into my 10th yr! I fed my Spirit words that developed into mental mantras, full of passion and determination. I made my clear, focused Intention and Expectation known to my body and to the Universe. I do believe that mastering our fears is among the hardest thing a human being can be called upon to do. But the payoff is awesome! FEAR AND FAITH CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE. So eradicating my worst case scenarios and barring them from renting space in my head, allowed BELIEF and CERTAINTY to prevail. I live one day at a time, w/a definitive view of myself far into the future. I live AS IF. As if my desired goal is a done deal. This frees me to live with joy and serenity. Can you see it in my face? People tell me they can. I feel radiant. And I know that is the True Me, my Spirit, that is beaming out from my core. "IMPOSSIBLE IS JUST A BIG WORD THROWN AROUND BY SMALL MEN WHO FIND IT EASIER TO LIVE IN THE WORLD THEY'VE BEEN GIVEN, THAN TO EXPLORE THE POWER THEY HAVE TO CHANGE IT." EXPLORE YOUR POWER, MY SISTERS. I SAY THIS WITH A HEART FULL OF LOVE FOR YOU AND YOUR STRUGGLE. I KNOW WELL HOW DAUNTING THE TASK AT HAND IS. BUT IT IS DOABLE! IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A FACT. IT'S AN OPINION. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A DECLARATION. IT'S A DARE. IMPOSSIBLE IS POTENTIAL. IMPOSSIBLE IS TEMPORARY. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING." David Beckham Success comes to those who refuse to accept anything less, w/every fiber of their being. Stomping on impossible. Defying statistics. Seeing their victory w/each hr of ea day. KNOWING it will come, w/a faith that is irrepressible... Resolve to be one of Life's victors! And make it happen my fellow Warriors. Sending healing energy always, Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...