[Mary Jo]

Hello,

Becky thank you for the link to the reconstruction site. It was helpful and I enjoyed the personal stories and especially the pictures to see what might be. My husband enjoyed seeing them as well - also as a way to better understand what might be.

Margerie, thank you so much for your testimony on reconstruction. It was helpful to me and once again, also for my husband.

This is a decision that I'm really trying to pull my husband into. It's been hard for him I think, as he wants to be very careful on what he says or how he responds to the decison making on reconstruction. I know it is very important for him that I know how much he loves me just the way I am because he says it often. From the beginning his words to me were "I don't care about breasts ... I only want to wake up next to you in the morning." However, that being said (and I almost hate to type this as I don't want this misunderstood) but tonight while talking about possible reconstruction I saw a sparkle in my husband's eyes. No matter how much he loves me - and accepts me for me (geez, this is the guy who STILL after 2.5 years has been to every single appointment, scan - whatever - all without one complaint) he is still human. He is a 48 year old man who always loved breasts Well, he still does I suppose but now it's a "look don't touch" kind of love affair. I'm sure the thought of his wife having breasts again must bring a SECRET smile to his heart (not to mention other body parts - sorry - WAYYYYYY more information than needed to be shared) and it's something I do think about when trying to make a decision.

Of course, I wouldn't let that be the determining factor in this decision but my love for him (and his love for me) definitely helps sway me in that direction. It's been 2.5 years of growing and I finally feel that I'm starting to slowly put some of this behind me. It's maybe time to think about "putting me back together again." It's taken me these 2.5 years to mentally put me back together again. It's been a tough journey but a journey (as I've shared before) that I wouldn't give back. It's taught me much - it's helped me face things none of us wants to face i.e. our death and leaving our loved ones - but it's something I've done and feel I am at peace with. I feel I now know my true self - what really makes me tick and am happier and more at peace than ever before. I've take the Lord's Hand and let Him lead me a long the way and He has shown me more than I could ever have imagined.

So, you see - maybe it's time. Maybe I need to feel "put back together again" too. I'm not sure. I appreciate you all letting me ramble and helping me through this with your encouragment, love and support. I'm sure to some of you this may seem vain and inconsequential as your struggles are definitely not vain but about survival but to me it is important and I need to bring it to you in my "little support group" (the only support group I attend) because I believe through major things or little things we are here for each other because in a round about way we are all in the same boat. We all "get it" as others not in our world don't.

So thanks all - thanks for listening and thanks for your support and encouragement.

Mary Jo