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Juanita,
Not many people would admit to family issues such as yours... I know its too simplistic to say that there are many more out there with worse issues ...
Your situation is quite overwhelming when you try to be THE ONE that attempts to keeping it all glued together.
Not feeling guilty is tough. It sounds like you are the "go to gal" of the family. Cancer can bring limits to our dreams, but not to our spirit. I think that realizing that you are doing the best you can is all you can ask of yourself and those that ask of you should realize that too. You seem to carry the worry load for so many other people... its not right. Please give yourself a little R&R. Step away for a day and try to look inside the box rather than feeling stuck in it.
You are young, vivacious and stunningly strong. We all see it.
Sometimes I feel that cancer has made me a stronger person and interestingly, others have also. I find it easier and easier to say no without an ounce of guilt (well, maybe just a little). But no one gripes anymore!
I know Christmas isn't joyous for everyone, and putting on a happy face is not easy. If you really think about it, its probably the most stressful time of the year. If anyone asks what you want for Christmas just tell them you want what they want. Peace !
Hang in there honey!
Maria
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