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Old 10-04-2007, 02:22 PM   #62
Andrea Barnett Budin
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW...
Posts: 1,904
Cool Oh That Song...

Oh Sheila, That music is too funny. Makes me want to jump in the air and click my heels (even though I can't imagine I am physically capable of doing so). That song is sooo *spirited*! I will have to return to it throughout my day when feeling a lull in my energy center. THANKS for that.

I think TipToe will go topless (w/sunscreen of course). A free Spirit, after all... And I have a private pool, so...

Still can't get over the treat of FULL FRONTAL Pinkie! What a happy face. So glad for the pic, Pink One. And for all the other pics you attached. How clever you are. How'd you do that anyway??

Was in chemo rm today wishing I had Tip w/me. All the staff were wearing PINK! (BC Awareness mnth, ya know...) Guess we're all *aware* every month, I'm just sayin...

BTW, I'm aware in a GOOD way. There just always seems to be a moment where I free associate to the conversation and mention my situation. I am obviously (I'm told) full of joy and serenity, so when I speak of my experience, others feel inspired, and I don't mean just bc others. Met a divorced single mom yesterday, stressed out and overwhelmed. She sat mute getting manicured; couldn't even respond when asked what color polish she wanted. She just smiled. So we chatted over our nail-drying machines. You know, I can't keep my mouth shut. I write long posts... You can imagine what having an actual one on one conversation is like. Oh dear...

Others are immediately drawn in to the bc tale of horror told w/o any sign of the struggle evident. You look fabulous/great, they say. I think -- what, for an almost dead person? They look at me w/admiration and a sudden epiphany that their cares and woes could be so much worse. Their perspective expands and they start to brush the sky (which has seemingly fallen on their shoulders) off. They often part happy and saying things like, God bless you, You're beautiful inside and out, I love you... And my day is made! I bounce off feeling ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE, and *on purpose*! Just thought I'd share. Being aware of having or having had (as I see it) bc isn't always a burden, you know what I mean??

And TipToe will surely brighten my days, till I pass her on with loving energy from me and Pinkie to Marie (our chief BELIEVER). And then she will carry on w/the good vibes of three or four or so and on and on... What an awesome joyful venture we have undertaken. Can't wait to see the journal.

BIG HUGS,
Andi

__________________
Andi BB
'95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive...

'98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!)
+ good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...
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